Moving past being "the victim"

[Aion]

No prob, a tricky thing here is that clearly he is projecting some expectation of ideals upon you.
I would first wonder, what exactly does a 'fixed' relationship look like exactly? Is that actually what they are looking for or is that just the bandage to the symptom?
That is to say, what would you look like to him when you are "better"? This is always a revealing question because sometimes the answer is much simpler than it appears.

It sounds to me like he maybe has some abandonment issues and is in a self-defensive mode to self-preserve. I think it's important to note that he is clearly feeling victimized himself and appears to me to be feeling very powerless. These acts of creating boundaries, which is what he's doing, while it appears aggressive it seems to me an attempt by him to try to regain some sense of power of his own self.

Although it can be very difficult, especially when emotions are flying, I think trying to get as specific as to what the issues are is crucial.
Asking, what is the damage? How did those fractures come about? Hard questions to get to the root of sometimes and people can be stubborn when they upset.

Further, a question, what part of him is feeling victimized? Is there perhaps a side of him that has gone unacknowledged? These are questions you can approach from your side of the street.