Difficulty adjusting to 3rd dimension- physical ailments

[KaliSouth]

Thank you, Diana. Your message is very helpful. I do have a history of anxiety and depression; and a very stormy relationship with my parents. I do wonder if other wanderers have this feeling of being in society but isolated from it and unable to understand to full breadth of human emotions. This is not to say that I don't feel emotions, but that I don't understand the need for so much of it. Not in the sense of being a sociopath or a narcissist, but in the sense of wishing people well or being happy about things and not needing to be so expressive about it.

I've felt that way for all of my life.... looking from the outside in at the places I've lived and the people I've encountered.... I'll help when approached but never went out looking to help minus a few occasions were some one was in dire need.  idk I always preferred just letting one's actions speak than speaking a lot about service.... that part of the LOO where Ra said wanderers encounter severe alienation really stood out to me/partly confirmed the whys ....

Does anyone have the constant feeling of needing to go "deeper" to understand themselves? It's a gnawing sensation. It feels as though the regular things that people do are not going to satisfy you. Instead you want to get deeper into yourself to understand every possible layer of the cosmos within you. You constantly just look at most other humans* and think they're caught up in meaningless things.

*I don't use the term "human" in the perjorative sense, but to indicate that other dividers (race, class, gender, sexuality etc) are superfluous.

I've felt that way in the past year a lot...... It has felt like the universe has yanked me back from several attempts in which I thought I was going along fine but was off course of my soul path.... Currently I'm questioning why did I come to Earth and what was my specific mission here as a wanderer..... I've meditated heavily but no solid answers have come.... I plan to do a high dose shroom trip soon to ask the same question while the veil is removed before my eyes since nothing else has answered it for me. Part of me is upset I waited until age 28 to ask that question but I just accept it at this point...

I've always wondered if my sense of alienation was something that needed to be fixed, but lately (because of age?) I've just settled into the idea that I am who I am and that's the end of the story. I don't hate people, I just feel very uncomfortable around them. I just cannot identify with the need to need so many things. Coming across the Law of One just seemed to fit me so well. These feelings are so deep within me that I don't know how else to explain them except through the concept of the wanderer.