I'm aware of the length of this incarnation being a tiny drop compared to the ocean of the soul. It doesn't weigh on my decision making process.
100 years, 75,000 years, 1 million years, all of that is nothing for a soul with a lifespan of eternity. We also veil our consciousnesses to feel things more deeply and realize things we wouldn't realize without the veil. I'll pursue whatever I feel the most deeply after weighing all my options, because they're all guaranteed to produce results. If I end up taking a gamble that turns out to be 'wrong,' spending thousands of years to counterbalance it is also just a drop in the ocean.
I've had times where I felt a sense of eternity mixed with cosmic horror. Since 2013, I've had several times every year where I wondered if everything was just an endless loop, if the reward of conventional enlightenment was just hitting the reset button on this universe, and then spending another eternity in another series of incarnations across all of their densities, or whatever system they have, with a different set of rules and maybe physics, but still more suffering. If that nagging feeling is true and the entire program is based on suffering, even past complete enlightenment in this universe, then I'll investigate every possibility of breaking free entirely.
I did go with a perspective based on the Law of One because it seemed like there was a far deeper logic to it than the Gnostic thought I was more aligned with before. Those other theories of the universe and this planet being a prison resonated with parts of me on an emotional level, but they had inconsistencies and gaps that the Law of One doesn't.
Anyways, I'm only going to live in a way where I can feel stable, strong, passionate, dignified, and generally happy. At this point, I'm not sacrificing any of that for any version of enlightenment offered, because that might not be enlightenment anyways. Going with whatever I feel the most deeply, regardless of what it turns out to be, may also be the most valuable lesson for my eternal self.
100 years, 75,000 years, 1 million years, all of that is nothing for a soul with a lifespan of eternity. We also veil our consciousnesses to feel things more deeply and realize things we wouldn't realize without the veil. I'll pursue whatever I feel the most deeply after weighing all my options, because they're all guaranteed to produce results. If I end up taking a gamble that turns out to be 'wrong,' spending thousands of years to counterbalance it is also just a drop in the ocean.
I've had times where I felt a sense of eternity mixed with cosmic horror. Since 2013, I've had several times every year where I wondered if everything was just an endless loop, if the reward of conventional enlightenment was just hitting the reset button on this universe, and then spending another eternity in another series of incarnations across all of their densities, or whatever system they have, with a different set of rules and maybe physics, but still more suffering. If that nagging feeling is true and the entire program is based on suffering, even past complete enlightenment in this universe, then I'll investigate every possibility of breaking free entirely.
I did go with a perspective based on the Law of One because it seemed like there was a far deeper logic to it than the Gnostic thought I was more aligned with before. Those other theories of the universe and this planet being a prison resonated with parts of me on an emotional level, but they had inconsistencies and gaps that the Law of One doesn't.
Anyways, I'm only going to live in a way where I can feel stable, strong, passionate, dignified, and generally happy. At this point, I'm not sacrificing any of that for any version of enlightenment offered, because that might not be enlightenment anyways. Going with whatever I feel the most deeply, regardless of what it turns out to be, may also be the most valuable lesson for my eternal self.
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