Loving without expectation of return

[Louisabell]

Well, my first though would be this is cureable with thoughts

Ah, that magical thought we only need to think in order to make it all better again  

My second thought would be:

Loving without expectation is a state we eventually reach. Trying to „already be there“ does not to the trick, at best it results in suppressing what you truly feel.
I would leave the „you should“ aside and see how thing are for you, because that is the starting point

„Technically“ speaking I would say, there is a part in you that still needs something, and this part will have expectations until it is healed.
Ultimately, it is a younger aspect of yours, some call it the inner child, that experienced a situation where its needs have not been filled.

Healing ultimately occurs when you can accept that this need has not been met and will never be met. Because it happened in the past, and the situation was „needs are not being met“.
It is not possible to fill these needs fully, just temporarily. Just as , lets say you experienced a hot summer day in the past, so the experience is a hot summer day, it will not change to a cold winters day in the furture.

And so the past experience of „needs not being met“ will not change in „needs being met“.
That is a crucial thing to grasp in my experience.

Healing will not occur by filling that need, it will occur by realizing that you do not have that need right now, but are experiencing an old energy of „needs not being met“.

Not sure if you can relate to that.

Well of course Aqua, everything you say is right, yet put so matter of fact that it can be a hard pill to swallow all at once, lol. After some days of mulling things over, I am in a much more receptive state and feel hopeful for the challenge ahead. Thank you, I appreciate it.

However this is not of much use if it just is a concept, it is crucial to actually feel it.
In order to feel it it is often, or even more often than often, necessary that someone fills that need temporarily, so you can relax and feel safe.
This usually is a precondition for your system allowing you to actually feel this.

Well put. I have undertaken the long journey of undoing the self-abandonment I was taught. The true hero of the day is when you show up for yourself.