04-24-2020, 02:14 AM
Thanks to everyone who's posted here and given advice and/or support in any way. Things are going slow and tough, but that's the nature of work in consciousness. A couple of my distortions are starting to give a bit, but more are coming out of the woodwork and revealing themselves. At least I'm seeing them and getting a better grasp on understanding them. I'm generally sticking to addressing catalyst as it arises, and not overcomplicating things-working with what I know isn't working first and foremost. That said, I am also looking at things from the bases of the energy centers, starting with the lower three before I even really sit down to consider the heart and higher chakras.
My red ray is very underactive and has a few very substantial, but mostly straight-forward blockages. The yellow ray is also somewhat underactive, and has a few pretty straight-forward blockages, relating mostly to self-discipline and my relationship to human society. My orange ray is quite a mess; it's inherently very strong and has a lot of potential, but it is overactive and sort of a convoluted and tangled mess of blockages, many of which aren't super straight-forward. A lot of it is things relating to my relationship with myself, and a lot of baggage related to interpersonal relationships, many of which are in the past, but there is still unresolved regrets about things said and done, by myself and by others. There's a whole lot pertaining to desires, judgments, guilt, and a whole bunch of other stuff that's hard to pull to mind at the moment. Most of the shadow resides in this area. This one's gonna take some real work.
I'm not sure if I'll continue using this thread for my healing process, as I think it's mostly served it's purpose, and I may make a new one sooner or later. There is one more thing I'd like to comment on. It's been some weeks, but early on when I made this thread, I had a very strange experience with a brand new member who sent me a PM and then never returned. I really didn't know how to respond to it properly at first, and was rather taken aback, and said as much in my first response.
This person stated they were interested in a reply and conversing with me, and after the first reply and days going by, I was able to sit down and really formulate a well-though-out response. Nothing. I still have yet to hear back. The thing that was so strange was how much this person seemed to know me on a deep, archetypal level, and to see into really deep themes and concepts about my life so knowingly. This goes beyond anything I've shared here and any reply I've ever received from any member here. This and other things lead me to believe that this person is some sort of...I guess you would say adept. Not the average person that comes to a site like this for their spiritual pursuits. I'd even hazard to say that this person might be a member of some sort of society such as the "White Magical Priesthood" or whatever you want to call it.
This person went on about how much they would love a reply and to converse and that they were awaiting my response, then nothing.I don't know if they were expecting me to respond in some certain way and I didn't deliver, if they are waiting for what they feel is a better opportunity after I've made some progress, for me to respond in a certain manner, or if they were reprimanded for reaching out to someone outside of their order, who would probably be considered too distorted or unworthy in some way.
That would make sense, because based on my observations and studies, these types seem very fickle with their sense of humanitarianism. Those who don't meet the perfectionistic/lack of distortion criteria to be part of their little clubs are generally seen as unworthy of any help, support, or protection, and thrown to the wolves, so to speak, as if we, by our imperfect/distorted nature, deserve any oppression, hardship, and meddling of dark forces that comes our way. I am very grateful for this person's deep and insightful message and reaching out to me in the first place, but I definitely don't agree with this fickle, elitist, unhumanitarian attitude. Maybe not all of them are like that, but I have yet to be proven wrong, and the lack of response from this person only reinforces my beliefs by example.
Anyone ever had a similar experience, or an experience where these people were actually helpful? And if you are lurking here or watching me, you know who you are. I invite you to converse with me, as you originally said you intended to do, and prove me wrong.
My red ray is very underactive and has a few very substantial, but mostly straight-forward blockages. The yellow ray is also somewhat underactive, and has a few pretty straight-forward blockages, relating mostly to self-discipline and my relationship to human society. My orange ray is quite a mess; it's inherently very strong and has a lot of potential, but it is overactive and sort of a convoluted and tangled mess of blockages, many of which aren't super straight-forward. A lot of it is things relating to my relationship with myself, and a lot of baggage related to interpersonal relationships, many of which are in the past, but there is still unresolved regrets about things said and done, by myself and by others. There's a whole lot pertaining to desires, judgments, guilt, and a whole bunch of other stuff that's hard to pull to mind at the moment. Most of the shadow resides in this area. This one's gonna take some real work.
I'm not sure if I'll continue using this thread for my healing process, as I think it's mostly served it's purpose, and I may make a new one sooner or later. There is one more thing I'd like to comment on. It's been some weeks, but early on when I made this thread, I had a very strange experience with a brand new member who sent me a PM and then never returned. I really didn't know how to respond to it properly at first, and was rather taken aback, and said as much in my first response.
This person stated they were interested in a reply and conversing with me, and after the first reply and days going by, I was able to sit down and really formulate a well-though-out response. Nothing. I still have yet to hear back. The thing that was so strange was how much this person seemed to know me on a deep, archetypal level, and to see into really deep themes and concepts about my life so knowingly. This goes beyond anything I've shared here and any reply I've ever received from any member here. This and other things lead me to believe that this person is some sort of...I guess you would say adept. Not the average person that comes to a site like this for their spiritual pursuits. I'd even hazard to say that this person might be a member of some sort of society such as the "White Magical Priesthood" or whatever you want to call it.
This person went on about how much they would love a reply and to converse and that they were awaiting my response, then nothing.I don't know if they were expecting me to respond in some certain way and I didn't deliver, if they are waiting for what they feel is a better opportunity after I've made some progress, for me to respond in a certain manner, or if they were reprimanded for reaching out to someone outside of their order, who would probably be considered too distorted or unworthy in some way.
That would make sense, because based on my observations and studies, these types seem very fickle with their sense of humanitarianism. Those who don't meet the perfectionistic/lack of distortion criteria to be part of their little clubs are generally seen as unworthy of any help, support, or protection, and thrown to the wolves, so to speak, as if we, by our imperfect/distorted nature, deserve any oppression, hardship, and meddling of dark forces that comes our way. I am very grateful for this person's deep and insightful message and reaching out to me in the first place, but I definitely don't agree with this fickle, elitist, unhumanitarian attitude. Maybe not all of them are like that, but I have yet to be proven wrong, and the lack of response from this person only reinforces my beliefs by example.
Anyone ever had a similar experience, or an experience where these people were actually helpful? And if you are lurking here or watching me, you know who you are. I invite you to converse with me, as you originally said you intended to do, and prove me wrong.