Resisting sexual energy

[Black Dragon]

The problem goes beyond, it seems my identity comes from others.

I feel as though I’m stuck in red ray energy with one scary way out.

It seems that my only logic is to leave the material world behind and become one with earth and its inhabitants.

I probably would function as a mirror and only green ray energy would take me in which would help my gut bacteria.

I’m assuming this was a preincarnated choice that I choose not to accept. The time is now, yet I feel as though I have no balls. Is my only way around this pretending that I can become a female scientist?

I hope I don't sound like a "physical male orange ray area", but pretending isn't the way around anything. I don't know what to tell you as far as a solution, I just know what won't work, and that includes; pretending, denying, not accepting responsibility, black and white definitions, letting societal morphic fields dictate your own energy.