03-24-2020, 07:13 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-24-2020, 07:35 PM by Black Dragon.)
I feel for you dude, I really do, and I'm honestly not that far from the place you are as far as confusion on a lot of issues. You are in a shitty place, but rather than laying your stuff on the table and then asking "now how do I move forward from here and get myself out of it", it is like you simply want to keep justifying all the things that keep you in that shitty place, and shooting down any help or perspectives that others share with you. For me, dwelling on all my own justifications for not changing just became and endless, solipsistic echo chamber, so my reasons for coming here were to get some fresh perspectives from others that challenged rather than reinforced my distortions.
Wouldn't you like to break free of your prison rather than continuing to reinforce the walls? You don't have to be a martyr to be STO. You don't have to get stepped on or give your time and energy away to STS people or institutions in order to be STO. Many have told you this, and you've found many more quotes yourself in the material that say the same thing, but you keep "beating the subject like a dead horse" for some reason. You can use discernment, and dare I say a healthy amount of separation(in some respects and on some levels) between yourself and these energies(be in the world but not of it so to speak) without resentment and hatred, or feeling you need to fight against them or some such (in the traditional sense of the term. there's ways to "fight the fight" and co-create events and situations in a way that's quite tricky and effective, and nothing to do with being pushed over. These are avenues I wish to study further myself.). Hating and dwelling on them so much actually empowers those things and strengthens the connections between those negative morphic fields and your own.
It's almost impossible to describe coming from a heart-centered, green ray perspective to somebody who hasn't experienced much or any major openings in that area(I don't know your full story, and whether or not this applies to you). I've had some of these green ray openings and experienced these states and perspectives before in my own life, but in a rather inconsistent manner and was unable to sustain or hold this perspective very consistently or through what most would call the dark night phase, where the shadow side begins to surface the strongest(in which I still find myself). There's a really simple and common factor that makes sustaining that state(and even getting there at all) a lot more difficult, and that's problems in the lower triad of energy centers. Most if not all of the concerns you seem so focused on stem from these centers(as do a number of my own issues, though not all of them). This is generally where I intend to start looking/working. Maybe this is where you might want to start as well(just a friendly suggestion, you are ultimately your own authority).
Wouldn't you like to break free of your prison rather than continuing to reinforce the walls? You don't have to be a martyr to be STO. You don't have to get stepped on or give your time and energy away to STS people or institutions in order to be STO. Many have told you this, and you've found many more quotes yourself in the material that say the same thing, but you keep "beating the subject like a dead horse" for some reason. You can use discernment, and dare I say a healthy amount of separation(in some respects and on some levels) between yourself and these energies(be in the world but not of it so to speak) without resentment and hatred, or feeling you need to fight against them or some such (in the traditional sense of the term. there's ways to "fight the fight" and co-create events and situations in a way that's quite tricky and effective, and nothing to do with being pushed over. These are avenues I wish to study further myself.). Hating and dwelling on them so much actually empowers those things and strengthens the connections between those negative morphic fields and your own.
It's almost impossible to describe coming from a heart-centered, green ray perspective to somebody who hasn't experienced much or any major openings in that area(I don't know your full story, and whether or not this applies to you). I've had some of these green ray openings and experienced these states and perspectives before in my own life, but in a rather inconsistent manner and was unable to sustain or hold this perspective very consistently or through what most would call the dark night phase, where the shadow side begins to surface the strongest(in which I still find myself). There's a really simple and common factor that makes sustaining that state(and even getting there at all) a lot more difficult, and that's problems in the lower triad of energy centers. Most if not all of the concerns you seem so focused on stem from these centers(as do a number of my own issues, though not all of them). This is generally where I intend to start looking/working. Maybe this is where you might want to start as well(just a friendly suggestion, you are ultimately your own authority).
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