Where is the balance between Control and Acceptance?

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Ra describes martyrdom as "the work of love without wisdom."

If you respect yourself and love yourself as a foundation, taking care to balance subconscious self-destructive distortions (the Freudian 'deathwish'), you may lessen or limit the amount of external negativity you're exposed to. All is One, and the subconscious is in a feedback loop with the external illusion. You, I, and those entities that give you anxiety are extensions of the same Creator. By working on your own consciousness, you may produce a ripple effect on all creation.

Beyond this, it's possible to come up with solutions that preserve your compassion for others along with your well-being (which greatly aids the work of serving others). It can require some cleverness and creativity sometimes. At times, coming up with a solution for difficult situations feels like finding the answer to a riddle, or a trick question. I suppose finding those creative solutions is part of the work of balancing compassion with wisdom.

In any case, extensive meditation will intuitively lead you to the best results, even if it takes time.