Negative Polarity & BDSM

[EvolvingPhoenix]

One can make the case that exploring one's shadow in a safe environment is a tool that can greatly further someone's positive polarization. One such environment is the imagination, as Ra states. Another one is the bed with a willing and consenting partner, where limits are established and the persons involved give each other freedom of expression and freedom of exploration, all under an atmosphere of acceptance, openness and compassion.

Simply brushing under the rug any desires and refusing to explore them and understand them is an act of repression, which is the trademark of the negative polarity. Jade mentioned that the brain strengthens the connections involved when one keeps engaging in one pleasurable activity, which is a good point, but I would say that one's work with the desires and activities involved hasn't finished if these haven't yet been understood and accepted.

The danger of not exploring one's shadow is that one becomes unaware of the potential for evil that resides within the self. When this potential is explored, accepted and even honored, the risk of one's shadow side popping up in an uncontrollable or unconscious way is greatly diminished. This is why shadow work is of utmost importance in the STO path.

Yes! I very much cosign this senriment and would lije to add something possibly even MORE important regarding shadow work's essentiality to the STO path:

That STO is about loving the self enough to love the self one sees in another-self.

Is it truly self loving to reject the self reflected back to you in the mirror by a negative seeker?

Part if my healing has involved coming to the decision to view the dissowning of anotherself as disownership of self. After all, didn't Ra say the first separation which occurs is between self and self?

I have learned this through much painful confusion. It seems I am not the only one on this forum to learn this the painful way either. I would warn against such suppression.

Also, suppression mixed with attachment to a self-identity as STO seems to stunt progress in the STO direction or possibly even ANY direction. This is yet another matter in which I speak from experience and admittedly still am unkinking the knots of. I came to a realization today that I mirror repressive people such as these in that I have a clear lust for life inside of me, yet because I have been repressing myself for so long, have been quite dormant and "dead inside" throughout much of life, masochistically denying myself passionate experience on one hand and then indulging my sense of lust by masochistacally fantasizing about my desires from a place of lack rather than step into presence and actually LIVE MY LIFE, limiting my capacity for polarized work.

I warn that there cam be much suffering and self abuse in such repression, and that hurt people hurt people. And thus can cause more suffering inside for both parties.

Part of my strong response has probably been in reaction to a semi-conscious awareness of this and how it has affected me.

Please endeavor yourselves to avoid the unnecessary pain I have inflicted upon myself through repression.

Out of love and compassion, I offer this grave warning.

Please learn from my painful experience rather than finding a way to replicate it. I love the self I see in you all too much to want you to suffer like I have, when you can find your meaning much more harmoniously and polarize in the positive sense much more quickly than I have so far.

At least that's my current take. Easier said than done maybe, but I feel as though warning others like this might help them to avoid the pain I've put myself through.

If anyone here REALLY finds abuse unhealthy, I urge you (if you repress yourselves) to be more loving to the shadow self you see in the mirror when it comes to one's desires. Disowning the self reflected in another is unloving to both self and other-self. Trust me on this.

Repression is self abuse that can lead oneself to unconsciously abuse others selves (as pointed out) and in my view this is why. I know firsthand.

Trust me when I say, it is neither positive, nor enjoyable to treat oneself this way. Please avoid replicating my self abuse.