I'm in hell. How do I survive it?

[kristina]

I wrote down an entire page and somehow my computer crashed and its gone. I'm too tired and depressed to write it all down again so I'll keep it short and simple.

Is there any way to survive it without losing polarity/chance to harvest?

I feel that I am not going to be harvested. I am completely broken . I don't think there is a way to fix that during this lifetime.

Sometimes I think that maybe the negative path is more suited but I'm too weak for that. I can't even decide. I don't know what I want. I don't even know what polarity I am honestly..
How do I find out which polarity I'm closer to? I remember Ra saying that most are far along the chosen path before realization of that path is conscious. I need to find this out and I can start making progess because I have absolutely no idea where I am right now. I'm really confused.

Hey, what kind of hell are you in besides the inability to figure out what your polarity is? I know you said you wrote a whole bunch of things and your computer crashed which made you lose it. Is it possible to write it again? Surely one of us has had a similar experience.
I have to tell you to forget polarity. There is so much more to focus upon than polarity. For instance, like how you are feeling right now is far more important than needing to figure out if you have made the choice. Anyway, if you could write once more I know that several or at least one of us could relate to you and your experience.
Love and light. Hang in there...I know we must be able to address this together.