I'm in hell. How do I survive it?

[Strannik]

Is there any way to survive it without losing polarity/chance to harvest?

The concept of polarity, abstractly, in fact, there are no entities that are in positive polarity and do not use negative and vice versa.
So do not now care about the polarities. Do not get hung up on the desire to be harvest, it will only slow down development. You just need to open in yourself the stream of consciousness of your higher self, then it itself will tell you the way and guide you through life. There are concrete steps for this.

The confusion that you experience is a good sign of the development of the spirit, much worse when a person moves nowhere and at the same time thinks that everything is in order.

Learn to just watch your life from the outside, behind your thoughts, then you can learn to identify those thoughts that impede your development, you can identify objects in your home that help you, and those that you better get rid of, you can learn to direct the energy of your life. Ask me if you need help in training development steps and finding inner balance.