2006.02.05 Melodies of Fire & Love

[Sacred Fool]

Well.....seems more like a long path of lessons about balance more than a short step to me.

Sure, usually one has to go all the way around the circle, in the (hopefully) upwards spiraling motion, but once back at the same place it's a short step. But it's a hard place to stay before being pretty well balanced.

Even though that sounds like cheating, I believe you are correct. In that sense it's a small step from fear to joy, from longing to fulfillment?

Or, maybe I'm just confused and you're running spirals around me?

I wonder if that's a hunger for fire as opposed to a need to discharge it? Still seems like misplaced identity--as you describe above--eh?

Interesting thought. The discharge of fire you mention, is that an inner or outer action? Or not an action? Or an inner process needed in order not to burn the things you love? Or..?

In the present, yes, definitely I have a hunger for fire, inner fire (I was too scared to even light a match until late childhood), but there are also no "takers" or "fire dischargers" around in my present life. At first I don't think it was as much misplaced identity as a choice of identity. A loving but unwise (for the preservation of self, but that was not seen as important at the time the choice was made) willingness to sometimes sit in front of the sword, and sometimes, literally or figuratively, go to bed with the sword wielder, hoping for a connection and an exchange of energies. It didn't always end badly - at least once it led to the love story of a century, beneficial for both. However, after a while it does turn into a habitual misplacement of... something, a lack of fiery energy, whether deliberately turned down, or put out by another fire. Fire does extinguish fire... It's also a great cleanser, of course. Once you've been burnt to a crisp you're kind of free to start over from scratch. Not completely scratch - fire also enhances memory. It hurts so badly that you don't forget it just because you happen to die.

I enjoyed your description above. Having often played the role of the one in need of discharge, alas, I can report that enduring feelings of deep fulfillment are no more likely to be attained from following that particular path. My feeling is that refinement of emotion is the key there, along with refinement of identity: "where is the beauty I crave truly located?"

Back to the inner fire: inspired by this thread I've experimented a little, and just like Shemaya I felt it shooting up my spine. It spread through my upper body and made me feel physically warm, and very happy. It's like reconnecting with an old friend who has been away for a very long time. Of course I don't know if this is just one flame, or an actual taste of "the" fire. Coincidentally I have also recently stated using a "rapid breath of fire" in my yoga practice, and found it beneficial.

Thankee

Glad that was positive. Unlike you & Shemaya I felt no spinal association. But, like her, I did note a strong sense of how the two--Fire & Love--were very distinct and did not mix together. Maybe that's a good thing? I had some interesting thought about that then...which evades me now. Maybe it will return later, somewhere along the spiral pathway?