So much confusion, seeking clarity

[manifestgirl]

Wow, such an insightful reply. Thank you kindly.

So initially I was feeling that if I had some clarity that the pain would soon cease it made it a little easier to bear
but eventually It simply subsided and all I was left with was curiosity. My wanting to end it all also passed and I just
grew to accept that I'm a highly sensitive person and Its dangerous to let the pain of others cripple me because I'm no service to anyone
if I'm balled up in a corner sobbing. However I do limit my exposure as I build my emotional strength. I'm on social media maybe 5 mins a day
if at all, haven't watched the news in years, now I don't even read it or watch videos relating to it on my desktop, I watch tv that uplifts my heart
and I've been doing so much work on myself I'm hardly recognizable from 4 years ago. From 2015-2018 I was living in what felt like hell.
My best friend committed suicide, I got divorced, my daughter was hospitalized for cannabis induced psychosis, a month later my mother was hospitalized, so from me taking care of them both, I lost my job, then was evicted from my apt, then lost my car (victim of a hit and run). Yep you read that right, Death, Divorce, Illness, Job loss, Home loss, car loss all within months from each-other.  

I felt like I fell in a deep dark hole and the harder I tried to climb out the deeper I fell in. It spawned my spiritual awakening and BOOM, Now I'm above ground
and although I don't understand alot of what I've learned, I do feel stronger, wiser, brighter and more alive than ever before. I'm a spiritual warrior for sure
I just wish my head understood more but my heart feels wide open and made of gold. My faith is unmatched, So I guess I'm def moving in the right direction, and it's comforting to know there are others who read the things I'm drawn to so I"m not a total weirdo, just wishing for more clarity. The pain didnt kill me, it made me a Spiritual Warrior and a light brighter than I ever knew I could be. Ive always been STO just no longer at my detriment.

Thank you again for your time, hopefully my curiosity will subside and wanting clarity wont keep my brain wandering at night.

Happy New Year and New us!

Hello, manifestgirl. I'm sorry to hear about your pain.

I don't have answers to your questions. I have no idea when the solar flash or disclosure will occur, or if they will even occur. However, I would suggest pondering whether focusing on this kind of specific information helps or hinders your own inner work and your service to others. Does it make you feel empowered or stagnant? Does it give you tools to work with right here and now, or does it entail waiting until an undetermined event happens at an undetermined date?

Ra:

We can only ask each group to consider the relative effect of philosophy and your so-called specific information. It is not the specificity of the information which attracts negative influences. It is the importance placed upon it.
This is why we iterate quite often, when asked for specific information, that it pales to insignificance, just as the grass withers and dies while the love and the light of the One Infinite Creator redounds to the very infinite realms of creation forever and ever, creating and creating itself in perpetuity.
Why then be concerned with the grass that blooms, withers and dies in its season only to grow once again due to the infinite love and light of the One Creator? This is the message we bring. Each entity is only superficially that which blooms and dies. In the deeper sense there is no end to beingness.

Also, even though they said harvest would likely take place in 2011, they also said this:

40.8 Questioner: Then what will be the time of transition on this planet from third to fourth density?

Ra: I am Ra. This is difficult to estimate due to the uncharacteristic anomalies of this transition. There are at this space/time nexus beings incarnate which have begun fourth-density work. However, the third-density climate of planetary consciousness is retarding the process. At this particular nexus the possibility/probability vortices indicate somewhere between 100 and 700 of your years as transition period. This cannot be accurate due to the volatility of your peoples at this space/time.

Regarding feeling such pain for others, sensitivity is a very good thing. However, if unchecked, it has the drawback of hindering the sensitive person. This doesn't help neither the person feeling empathy, nor the people who are suffering. I am reminded here of some words of Mooji's, how he spoke of the archetypal image of the angels coming down from the heavens to help someone in pain. They are not portrayed coming down in agony, sobbing and crying at the pain of the earthly person. They come gracefully, with equanimity and calmness, and in that state, they raise the person they are helping. It's a kind of compassionate wisdom that is unmoved by pain, yet one who is not ignorant of it.

This pain that you feel for others is in part a product of your mind. It's a very good thing to be aware of the pain of others and to desire that this pain is eased, but at the end of the day, the mind can picture a thousand things, and it still has no idea what it really is to experience life as that person. This pain is imagined, and often amplified and distorted by our minds. I would say, be mindful of how and in what ways your mind is artificially adding things to your sensitivity that are not of service, neither to you nor other people. Be mindful also of how the mind likes to think in terms of "should haves" and "shouldn't haves", regarding these situations that we dislike. Do such thoughts further amplify your pain? Are they of any service?