There is an old convention in magic that distinguishes between what is considered "high magic" and "low magic". Low Magic has to do with predicting the future, magical powers, manifestation, shapeshifting, all those sorts of worldly magics. In Yoga magic powers are call 'siddhis' and they are considered to be intoxicating, addicting and one should beware pursuing them or using them because you can become addicted to them. In this view, those who become focused with obtaining them are missing the point. Siddhis can be a natural result of development of the soul, but to pursue Siddhis purely for themselves is considered self-serving and staying in a lower focus of consciousness because it causes one to plateau in spirit.
You will not go much further than you are while the attainment of siddhis is your focus, except further 'outwards' in to the realms of sorcery and astral glamour. Now don't get me wrong, I don't think sorcery is evil or STS per se, it depends entirely on how it's used, but the pursuit of power for the sake of power to create one's desire's is a classic 'evil magician' trope.
On the other hand, High Magic is that magic which brings us closer to our own souls, to connection with the Supreme and Unity and connects us to others with open hearts. It is that which reveals ourselves to ourselves and which works to resolve the many dualities within us. The focus here is thus connection with the Most High and the unveiling of the self. The self-knowledge that comes is seen as a function of connection rather than control or pursuit.
It sounds to me like you're not really going either way, you're kind of caught between the two.
Also, I wouldn't agree with "knowledge is STS and love is STO", that's a pretty primitive way of looking at it, but there is something there in that negatives are considered to pursue self-knowledge and power relentlessly, whereas the positive tends towards trying to raise up the self-knowledge and power in others, sometimes in lieu of themselves, but not always.
You will not go much further than you are while the attainment of siddhis is your focus, except further 'outwards' in to the realms of sorcery and astral glamour. Now don't get me wrong, I don't think sorcery is evil or STS per se, it depends entirely on how it's used, but the pursuit of power for the sake of power to create one's desire's is a classic 'evil magician' trope.
On the other hand, High Magic is that magic which brings us closer to our own souls, to connection with the Supreme and Unity and connects us to others with open hearts. It is that which reveals ourselves to ourselves and which works to resolve the many dualities within us. The focus here is thus connection with the Most High and the unveiling of the self. The self-knowledge that comes is seen as a function of connection rather than control or pursuit.
It sounds to me like you're not really going either way, you're kind of caught between the two.
Also, I wouldn't agree with "knowledge is STS and love is STO", that's a pretty primitive way of looking at it, but there is something there in that negatives are considered to pursue self-knowledge and power relentlessly, whereas the positive tends towards trying to raise up the self-knowledge and power in others, sometimes in lieu of themselves, but not always.
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