Empathy

[Diana]

I've begun trying to do that. it's time for me to push through even though that's against my philosophy of living and doing things.
So I wrote down all these things and was able to do 3 of them.

That's really great. There's an old saying, or maybe it's a song lyric: Keep on keeping on.

Family members can really mess with a sensitive person's focus when they get in trouble a lot, or are in unhealthy relationships.

I get that. The melodrama, for me, has become fairly easy to detach from. But when there are real issues, that's hard. My brother was a very troubled person. He's been gone a long time, and it still hurts. All I can say is that what I do is try to add what I have to give to the world, instead of just feeling and reacting to it.

One other obstacle is self censor. this really sucks.

I deal with that a lot. I am by nature a direct and honest person, and I have been trying to balance that with the concept of kindness for many years. It's not simple. By being true to your nature you honor self and that creates the self-worth you mentioned and personal empowerment. Years ago I started recognizing the need to consider more than straightforward honesty in the equation of communication, and I went way out of balance trying for kindness. I'm still working on it. Mixing kindness with honesty still feels to me like mixing water with oil.

And saying 'no' was difficult too. so for that I now rely on the integrated shadow self. shadow self is powerful as long as we're friends and I don't reject it

By "shadow self" what do you refer to?

Once I saw a girl who was the victim of an acid attack or sth. then I found out she killed herself. as soon as I saw her I was taken to this deep dark place where she had been dwelling. her passing lessened the suffering I felt for her. I could finally stop thinking about her. I got this image that she jumped out
pain like that is not very common even though it exists. most people who suffer or cause suffering have orange ray problems.
I think self worth is the medicine that's most needed. I probably have to arm myself with that to be able to help.

So sad.

I agree that self-worth will arm you. If you value others over yourself, there is imbalance. Ideally you value yourself and that creates a baseline of respect for life, but if you have diminished respect for your own life, there is an energetic communication with others that signals a lack of respect for life. So it's a conflict: lack of respect mixed with trying to help someone because you respect their life.

So many are going to be rude in society and so many are willing to pretend that it doesnt affect them when it does.. it actually morphs them

True. But a lot of humans are asleep to the process. You aren't. This is why I say to focus on you and what you want to do here. From Ra:

Though wanderers here may already be functioning as a beacon of planetary love and light, those of Ra also point out the importance of individual expression.

I speak more about this in an article on Plenum's LOO website:
https://thirddensityalchemist.wordpress....came-here/