01-11-2011, 10:57 AM
Great thread, very central in my experience this life, learning to radiate my core truth of love, despite the mirrors of anger, control, judgement, depression etc.
A paradox for me is the importance of self-love on the STO path. Those of us on the STO path will be more radiant as we love and accept ourself. And yet in a way this may seem selfish or be viewed as "service-to-self".
Example: My experience has been embedded in Christianity being born and raised Roman catholic, "born again" in high-school adopting evangelical Bible -believing Christianity. My family is very much aligned in these viewpoints. My husband and I have had a continual difficulty in our relationship as I have awakened and pull away from those paradigms. Recently, I told him that I no longer want to be part of a small group bible study that we have been part of for many years. The reason is that I feel I cannot give my energy to a patriarchal worldview because I feel so strongly that this has to change, and I feel responsible to be part of that change. I am honoring my truth and integrity, loving myself, as I direct my energy in spiritual groups that are more aligned with my beliefs and path. However, he is not happy with my decision, and I am unhappy with his unhappiness because we love each other. He does not see it my way and views my decision as "selfish". And I have difficulty in finding love in the patriarchal way that has oppressed feminine energy for too long, and I have difficulty being myself, fully and openly in that environment. I have wanted to find a way to do that for many years... a little better at it. But it is a bit of a dilemma and a paradox.
Does anyone have any thoughts about this dilemma?
Words of wisdom will be greatly appreciated!
A paradox for me is the importance of self-love on the STO path. Those of us on the STO path will be more radiant as we love and accept ourself. And yet in a way this may seem selfish or be viewed as "service-to-self".
Example: My experience has been embedded in Christianity being born and raised Roman catholic, "born again" in high-school adopting evangelical Bible -believing Christianity. My family is very much aligned in these viewpoints. My husband and I have had a continual difficulty in our relationship as I have awakened and pull away from those paradigms. Recently, I told him that I no longer want to be part of a small group bible study that we have been part of for many years. The reason is that I feel I cannot give my energy to a patriarchal worldview because I feel so strongly that this has to change, and I feel responsible to be part of that change. I am honoring my truth and integrity, loving myself, as I direct my energy in spiritual groups that are more aligned with my beliefs and path. However, he is not happy with my decision, and I am unhappy with his unhappiness because we love each other. He does not see it my way and views my decision as "selfish". And I have difficulty in finding love in the patriarchal way that has oppressed feminine energy for too long, and I have difficulty being myself, fully and openly in that environment. I have wanted to find a way to do that for many years... a little better at it. But it is a bit of a dilemma and a paradox.
Does anyone have any thoughts about this dilemma?
Words of wisdom will be greatly appreciated!
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