Sexual energies

[Foha]

There was a quote that stuck out to me recently in a book.
"Love is a verb".

It was included with an analogy of a man asking for advice with a dying relationship with his wife.
The man said the love just isn't there anymore, and asked what he should do.
The response was, "Love her."
The man replied, "I can't. It's just not there."
"So... love her, then."
"Didn't you hear what I said? I just don't feel anything like that anymore."

Then the response was 'love is a verb', and he only means to care for her, listen to her, support her, understand her, be there for her. I so much agree with this sentiment, and yet looking back I have said similar things to myself as though I can't do anything about the situation. Just because my initial interest is not as strong, and some of the mysteries of someone are better understood doesn't mean love was something I heard or felt. It was something we both did together.

I've been thinking about this lately when thinking about how my past relationships ended because I didn't feel urges as often as my ex. Especially in comparison to when we first started dating. It would spark arguments and she'd get defensive about how I felt and start losing trust in me. But I suppose that feelings we can't control is not the point of a relationship, is it?