How to follow your excitement when nothing you can do excites you?

[David_1]

What to do when nothing is exciting?
   I think each of us has special gifts, so what works for one may not work for others.  I have never been able to do many of the things that some say they do.  So, if this doesn’t work for you, your gifts are probably in another area.
   I have been quite frustrated lately dealing with emotional issues concerning service-to-self activities and their effects on the innocent.  I need to digress and leave that.
   Can you do the following?  I would suggest trying it a number of times before you give up and think you can’t.  It’s totally free.  I find it relaxing even if I see nothing.
   I didn’t know until some years ago that we can see more than the light that comes into our eyes.  My wife and I decided to spend some quiet time, and we went to a place that had electricity but no TV, no cell phone service, and stayed for a week.  We cooked our food and relaxed.  She read books.  I had nothing to do except think.  It was beautiful!  Maybe what happened was because I was quiet.
   I spent a lot of time outside that week.  There was grass, some trees, and a tiny brook nearby.  I would sit outside and shut my eyes and think.  After a few days, I noticed that I sometimes saw things when my eyes were shut.  What?  So, I got a thick blanket and covered my head and closed my eyes and found I could see better.  I could see the tiny particles of water in the brook dancing with each other as they swirled in little eddies.  I saw the glow of tree branches as the morning sun would begin to shine on them.  I saw a very dark small tree in the distance.  When I removed the blanket I couldn’t see the tree so I walked over there and someone had sawed it off at ground level.  (Was a little of the tree’s life energy still there because it had roots?)  I saw a butterfly whose colors were more brilliant than in actual light.  I even saw our pickup, though faintly!  Apparently objects that we think are inanimate also glow a little.
   Now when I am at home and want to do the same thing I go into our back yard which has some trees.  I have a plastic chair I sit in and cover my eyes with a cheap black mask that stores sell for those having trouble sleeping.  I really need to block out ALL light, because any light I can see distracts me.  Then I look around.  What do I see?  Some days I see nothing.  Many times it takes more than some minutes before I see anything.  Some days I see the light of the trees or grass or small animals.  I would really enjoy seeing an elf or fairy, but have never been blessed with that happening.  Yesterday it was windy.  It was the first time in my life I ever saw the wind rush past where I sat.  It seemed to be in a hurry!
   If I want to do this inside our house, I first go to the basement where we have a chair and turn out the lights in the room.  (If we are traveling, I sometimes go into the motel bathroom, shut the door, turn out the lights, and sit on the edge of the tub.)  Then I cover my eyes with a mask.  I enjoy watching the fluttery white glow of my breath as I exhale through my mouth.