Session 89 - Two Negatively Polarizing Wanderers

[redchartreuse]

Once I went to emergency for an issue I was having that was causing me quite a bit of pain. I was tended to by multiple nurses and doctors as they injected me with an IV and examined me. One young doctor during his time with me came up beside me. He grabbed my hand (the one with the IV in it) and he took a little time to look directly at me and give me this super warm and caring smile. At that moment I was overcome with a feeling that everything was going to be OK. My frustrated attitude towards my "uncooperative" body changed to one which realized how precious it was and how this doctor was investing himself to lovingly heal it.

These exchanges catalyze certain chain reactions in the life pattern. You cannot say that this one interaction changed absolutely everything for me in that moment, but it taught me a lot on how to be. This doctor has no idea what, if any, effect his choices had on me. This service goes beyond language. I think it is impatience that wants us to see really obvious external effects, but I think it does us well to remember that one of the most evident manifestations of polarization is simply the attitude change.

Thanks for sharing that story!  I think you are right to point out the change in attitude as one of the first manifestations of this.  It's interesting to me... seems like he was responding more directly to your fear than your frustration.  Would you say that it was the case?

True, and why shouldn't they when they have been told their entire lives by parents, peers, educators, media, society that they're not good enough? And if someone is experiencing this internal catalyst of feeling overly judged, do you really think another "judgmental" statement about something else they're doing wrong will help at all (even if it seems helpful to you)?

You are right... it is certainly understandable why some may feel this way.  However, what I am saying is that just because a person "feels judged" does not mean they were actually judged.

As I'm sure you are aware the phrase "don't judge me" has been weaponized and turned into what some believe to be an impenetrable defense against any sort of observation of their bizarre, outrageous, or even harmful and destructive behaviors.  

[Hey you!  Stop raping little boys.  And you over there!  Stop enabling and covering for child rapists.  Oh what's that?  Oh my bad... yes by all means carry on... so sorry to have "judged" you both.]

Note... I have pointed out that so many appear to be sleeping and nonresponsive.  Yes, I expressed frustration at this.

But I did not say those sleeping people are pieces of s*** who deserve everything that is coming to them, and that I hope they suffer even more.

I did not say those things... yet some respond as if I had.  That is what I am pointing out here.

Yes, I coined a term "zen slap" that appears to have triggered some.  But again, what was triggered in another by this... is about them.  In its own ironic way, it has sort of become a "zen slap" in itself.  Do you see?  All this was triggered by me quite unintentionally.  I was just trying to have a conversation.

What I am doing in a "zen slap" is not violence.  It is nothing more than pointed words.  

So how do we make that assessment in each situation as to whether tough-love/zen-slap will "shake someone awake" or if it will just add to the already overloaded unresolved catalyst that the entity is painfully carrying? Well, I would say that love is required to guide us, for it is only love that demands that each individual for each situation be treated with the unique consideration that they deserve.

Makes sense.  And yet... here let me share with you a story.

Not too long ago, someone who I am very close with developed a severe pain in her jaw radiating up to her ear.  But rather than seek out care for it, the effect of the jaw/ear pain was to amplify certain behaviors known as "the complaining" and "the not listening."   (Somehow I feel you already know what was going on here, yes?  Kinda obvious?)

Now, mind you, I am a sensitive person too and so having another person in my space who is near constantly complaining and spewing out negative emotion is a big challenge to me.

So after a short while I suggested she seek out some bodywork.  And she did.  But the first practitioner wasn't able to bring her much lasting relief.  Back to the complaining.  So after another while, I suggested to find another bodyworker, in addition to an acupuncturist and a chiropractor.   Progress ensued.  But the complaining continued.

So then I suggested... well maybe there is something else going on here.  Perhaps there is a metaphysical component to the pain.  (Mind you, the metaphysical component was glaringly obvious to me the whole time.)  At first... she didn't want to hear it.  Didn't want to listen.  Got angry with me.  The pain got worse.  And worse.  The complaining got worse and worse.  The not listening worse and worse.

Finally, after about four months of this things came to a head.  Everyone was upset.  Nobody had slept in weeks.  My own chronic pain issues were flaring out of control from being in an emotionally toxic environment.

I lost it.  Well... I didn't really lose it so much as I let go of all the energy I had tied up in "holding back" what I wanted to say, and trying to hide my frustrations and respond to the situation only with acceptance and lovingkindness.

So... I just let it loose.  I told her this is what is going on, and that is what is going to happen if she doesn't pull her head out of her ass and get serious about healing.

And guess what?  It worked!  That turned out to be the catalyst she needed to finally turn inward and look to nonphysical causes of her pain. And now... it is gone.

Again... mind you I didn't say "you are a worthless piece of s*** who will never amount to anything".  It was more of a getting angry with the attitude of "you are bigger than this, and I am not going to standby and let you destroy your health and your relationships because you are too afraid to face your inner demons."

Do you see?  The kindness, the patience, the tolerance, the acceptance... these were present all throughout.  But it was the "kick in the pants" that ended up mobilizing everything else.

I think the frustration is not so much that spiritual people are bestowing too much loving kindness without effect, but that anything we do has little effect. Which kind of makes sense, if it was easier then a 3rd density cycle wouldn't take 75,000 years, and there definitely wouldn't be any repeater souls. But that is the path of service to others, which is to offer the service without any expectation of return/result.

Yes, I would agree.  However please note I never said anything about "too much" lovingkindness.  I was talking about there being a lack of balance between this and other tools.

As for expectation of result/return again you are right in terms of each individual case.  Admittedly, this is much easier to do with somebody with whom I have no emotional investment.  However, I am attempting to look at the overall pattern here.  I was not joking when I alluded to feeling this is part of my purpose here.

This little creation here of ours... I'm not sure if everyone got the memo... but it didn't go according to plan.  And where I come from, we wouldn't want to miss out on such a grand opportunity for learning.

So you see, it's not so much I am here trying to argue that we should abandon lovingkindness because it is useless.  But rather to find out what in Creation is going on when it doesn't work as expected.

Also, I think this has been a great discussion and I thank redchartreuse for bringing it to the forefront, and for your unapologetic honesty in addressing it... and don't forget to administer your vials of lovingkindness © INC*

I also thank you for your participation and contributions.  They are quite welcome, and helpful!  

And also, while I appreciate your vibe of "lovingkindness" it is the addition of your vibrations of wisdom and understanding which are coming together to serve as effective catalyst for me here.

If you had merely nodded and smiled, and wished me well, I don't think that my attitude would be shifting.