2018_1103 - Preincarnative Choices

[redchartreuse]

I haven't really felt alone, so I wouldn't deem it a solitary path. I am celibate though, if that's what you want to know.

Not particularly asking about celibacy specifically, but more if you have a life partner.

For me- it was very lonely and disheartening, to say the least.  And what I was missing from having a committed partner, I attempted to make up for by becoming a part of this or that "spiritual" group, which proved to be even more disheartening.  

All the while there was this "voice" or energy or force tugging at me... telling me that I was doing something really important and that this was my "mission".  It was very insistent that I couldn't really have a life partner, and that especially not, under any circumstances, have a child.

I just mostly went along with this until I finally started paying closer attention to what the "little me" wanted- what my human wanted- and realizing that this wasn't at all in alignment with the agenda that I was attempting to impose upon it, at the direction of this other "voice".  That's when I really started to question the whole scheme.  Tbh, the whole thing just seemed to feel too "churchy" to me... this whole idea of forcing myself to do things against my own will, in order that I may suffer and "make sacrifices" for the greater good.  

Well finally I found (was "permitted" to find?) a relatively short while after taking the first steps to become a shaman, ironically enough.  We are part of the same soul group, or cluster, or squadron, or whatever you wanna call it.  

This is when I finally figured out how this whole scheme is accomplished.  Because before, when the extra catalyst I was agreeing to process "on behalf of others" would get too overwhelming, I could at least beg and plead for a reprieve.  Then, after resting up, I could once again re-engage with the program of taking on extra suffering for others feeling somewhat refreshed.

Well now what I've found that, no sooner do I get a break from the catalyst then.. BOOM! There it appears in her.  And now that we have a son, if we both manage to get ourselves re-balanced simultaneously, then BOOM! It pops up in him.

So nowadays, despite living what- to all outer estimations- appears to be a pretty idyllic lifestyle, I basically get presented with the same "choice" every day.  I can either suffer through physical pain, or through emotional pain.  Or I can still get a "break" but then I must witness somebody I love who is very close to me, begin to get overwhelmed by the self-same catalyst.

What's your exact idea of the % of suffering here on Earth?

I get there's a lot of it, but it's not either like most things are in pain at most times. People-wise, people mostly suffer from archetypal relationships they care deeply about, that's their love and they're quite often the ones that think they're right to cling to suffer. One of the lesson I've had is to realize the extent at which we subconsciously resist and avoid release and what will make us feel good. This is not really imposed, but a part of what you want.

I think it is close to 100% when you take into account what I've said above, that this "extra helping of suffering" is sort of passed around the table, creating the illusion of it being shared.  Whereas in reality, there is only one being there, passing the suffering back and forth to different parts of itself.

This is exactly how physical pain manifests in my body.  So I can recognize that pattern very well.   For example, months will go by where my left lower back is in severe pain.  I can't get comfortable.  Can't hardly get relief from seeing practitioners.  Can't sleep.  Can't meditate.

Then one day... BOOM!  Pain in the left lower back is gone.  But then, usually within the next 24 hours, it pops up somewhere else.  Now it's in my neck for a few months.   Now my pelvis.  And so on.

So when you are asking about percents, it sort of depends whether we are looking at a level where there are multiple parts, or whether a level of a larger whole.

But the percents may be taking us off topic because I didn't mean to talk about percents of the population suffering.  What I was trying to say was more about why, internally, it often seems like we are given the "choice" of either existing in an eternal airy-fairy, pumpkin spice and everything nice sort of heavenly (but very boring) existence, or we can choose to come here to terrify ourselves in hopes we will find it exhilarating... or spiritually fruitful... or whatever.

What I was trying to say was... wouldn't it be possible for souls to grow spiritually without having the suffering dialed up to the max?  And in fact, if the purpose of the Logos is to "speed up" spiritual growth, then, unless this happens to be the most naive Solar Logos in the entire universe, one might reasonably assume that the Solar Logos understands that there is a certain ratio of suffering to joy that is going to produce the "ideal" result, and that this ratio is probably not to be found at the extreme end of the spectrum.

Again, this can all get very heady, but we just need to look around us.  Look at the results.  Look at the fruit.

Look at all the extremism and blind adherence to certain ideals, without really understanding on a deep level what it means.  Time and again, day after day, billions of times a day, human beings all across the planet seem to be conveniently "forgetting" that, more is not always better.  

Just like medicine- if you take too small of a dose, nothing happens.  And if you take too big of a dose, game over.

I think it need not take the consciousness of a 6D star being for an entity to be able to hold this little chunk of wisdom firmly in its field.

A regular person living their regular life with their regular daily round of activities, should be able to discern, at least after several decades of experience, that perpetually digging in their heels, doubling down on their beliefs, and becoming even more extreme, doesn't actually lead them where they want to be.