Dealing with dopamine withdrawal

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Masturbation produces dopamine.
I do that maybe twice a week.
I don't know if it's the dopamine I'm feeling or what.
It's not always euphoric though.

I have a hard time masturbating lately.

On one hand, sex without love no longer interests me, but sometimes I masturbate purely for lust anyway, simply because of dopamine withdrawal and/or because of sexual tension. Sometimes I watch porn, but I consider that particularly unhealthy from a spiritual standpoint.

I'm hoping to find some other way to produce dopamine for myself. I would spend more time with friends and family, but they're always busy.

I want to have fun and connect socially. But I dunno what to do...

I don't think porn is necessarily unspiritual if both parties are consensual.
I look at cartoon porn, usually anthros/furries. They don't even exist, so it's not like my energy is affecting anyone.
Yeah, I usually do it for lust. I don't worry because I'm not trying to be "spiritual".

I find masturbation without porn to be incredibly difficult. It only really worked when I loved a cartoon character.
When I was really in love with them. And even then it was perverted.
It seems like only perverted things arouse me.

I don't get off to normal sex.

It's hard to masturbate lovingly. That's my issue with masturbation. I still do it now and then, but I always feel weird about not it after. I would really like to b in a loving relationship where love-making rather than just fucking is a normal habit. Ra says that sex without activation of the green ray slightly polarizes you negatively, if I recall. **sigh** Life is hard.


Oh and Agua just gave me a huge reality check where it turns out I'm not really doing all that much on the healing front and I'm just being dishonest with myself. **sigh again**

Well, time to get back to my healing regimen, and this time doing everything as much as possible.