Misconceptions about meditation and mindfulness?

[EvolvingPhoenix]

So my mom is of the belief one needs to "empty one's mind" in order to properly meditate/be mindful.

Something tells me that ain't right, but I dunno exactly what to recommend she go for in it's place.

What I try to do is focus on nothing but my breathing, or to count my breaths and focus on nothing but the breaths and/or number count.

Still, I notice that I'm thinking at least to some level ABOUT focusing instead on the breaths/count.

and I dunno if that counts as being truly mindful.


What misconceptions may either of us possibly be having which may get in the way of successful meditation?

"Thoughts"

 
These are just waves of your mind. In pure zazen there should not be any waves in your mind. While you are sitting these waves will become smaller and smaller, and your effort will change into some subtle feeling.

We say, "Pulling out the weeds we give nourishment to the plant." We pull the weeds and bury them near the plant
to give it nourishment. So even though you have some difficulty in your practice, even though you have some waves
while you are sitting, those waves themselves will help you.

So you should not be bothered by your mind. You should rather be grateful for the weeds, because eventually they
will enrich your practice. If you have some experience of how the weeds in your mind change into mental nourishment,
your practice will make remarkable progress. You will feel the progress.

You will feel how they change into self-nourishment. Of course it is not so difficult to give some philosophical or psychological interpretation of our practice
but that is not enough. We must have the actual experience of how our weeds change into nourishment.
Strictly speaking, any effort we make is not good for our practice because it creates waves in our mind. It is impossible,
however, to attain absolute calmness of our mind without any effort. We must make some effort, but we must
forget ourselves in the effort we make.

In this realm there is no subjectivity or objectivity. Our mind is just calm, without even any awareness. In this unawareness, every effort
and every idea and thought will vanish. So it is necessary for us to encourage ourselves and to make an effort up to the
last moment, when all effort disappears. You should keep your mind on your breathing until you are not aware of your breathing.

We should try to continue our effort forever, but we should not expect to reach some stage when we will forget
all about it. We should just try to keep our mind on our breathing. That is our actual practice. That effort will be
refined more and more while you are sitting. At first the effort you make is quite rough and impure, but by the power
of practice the effort will become purer and purer. When your effort becomes pure, your body and mind become pure


ZEN MIND, BEGINNER'S MIND
by SHUNRYU SUZUKI

Thanks, Svonimir. That was really helpful