08-25-2018, 05:01 PM
I am welcoming the community to give any helpful advice for me to see the world in a healthier view. If you notice some negataive bias in my posts, please let me know.
I wanted to share with the least amount of distortion my thoughts about an exchange of words and interactions I have had recently with someone that made me frustrated.
Here is that story:
About a few weeks ago I was contacted on LinkedIn by someone offering a business proposal with no strings attached. I was asked to fill out a survey and work with him through a screening process to potentially be trained, for free, in entrepreneurship and investment. Of course, I felt skeptical about such a thing, but I feel in my duty I should not reserve judgement until I am provided with facts. And so, I agreed to meet over google hangouts and have 30 minute to 60 minute meetings with this man named Anish of A & B Enterprises.
Anish seemed to be charitable and kind, and when I asked him why he is offering such services seemingly without conditions, he said he simply wanted to help others as he was helped. He said now he is able to live a life with little investment in time, but with financial strength to do what he wants, and that he would like to share with others willing to learn the success that he has achieved. When I asked about the actual details of any potential business proposal or position I'd be taking, he insisted that it's not time for that yet, and I have 7 steps to get through in this screening process, and on the 4th step I will start to receive more information about the business.
Reluctantly, I agreed to continue giving this man chances. We met twice on google hangouts, and he lent me a PDF book about entrepreneurship and investments, which I was less enthused in reading. I started to read the preface, which made big promises and gave reasons to continue reading. But this was the same story for the first chapter, where it continued to make promises but not give any details. And so the book seemed to continue, as I skimmed over the next chapters and read further. Losing my interest and having other responsibilities with school starting again this fall, and maintaining good standing with my step-father and boss for my internship, I have become overwhelmed with responsibilities. So when our next meeting came up, and without good planning, I went to see the leader of the Buddhist temple I had been attending in person, forgetting to cancel the meeting.
These are the following messages:
However, by now I am feeling like he is being disingenuous. If what his claims about his character, his reasoning for helping others like myself without strings attached, and so-forth, why is he passing judgement when I fail to receive an act of freely given kindness?
So I thought long about how to convey my doubts and explain myself, so I wrote back again:
I have yet to receive a message from Anish. I decided to do research on his company, which seems to be private and there is little known. On a social website that lets people rate their employment at companies, he has many 1 star reviews for taking advantage of the employees he has that are public-facing. They complain they are given difficult, if not impossible quotas, and promised riches, yet received less than adequate pay in comparison to many entry level jobs. Some of them were even insulting Anish for his deceit.
I feel that I could have handled this better.
Is it wrong for me to think, "he is judging me when he has no right to"?
And I feel that even though I might feel giving should be done freely, and without requiring something in return, it is not my place to say so plainly. In doing so I am judging him, when I am affirming that he has no right to do so to me.
It's difficult to handle my emotions and act calmly even under great stress. I hope that I can start to see the truth even when buried under responsibilities in the future.
Looking back on it now that I am more calm, I can see that my best choice of action would have been to simply apologize. Hopefully with practice I can attain a stance with more wisdom in the future.
I wanted to share with the least amount of distortion my thoughts about an exchange of words and interactions I have had recently with someone that made me frustrated.
Here is that story:
About a few weeks ago I was contacted on LinkedIn by someone offering a business proposal with no strings attached. I was asked to fill out a survey and work with him through a screening process to potentially be trained, for free, in entrepreneurship and investment. Of course, I felt skeptical about such a thing, but I feel in my duty I should not reserve judgement until I am provided with facts. And so, I agreed to meet over google hangouts and have 30 minute to 60 minute meetings with this man named Anish of A & B Enterprises.
Anish seemed to be charitable and kind, and when I asked him why he is offering such services seemingly without conditions, he said he simply wanted to help others as he was helped. He said now he is able to live a life with little investment in time, but with financial strength to do what he wants, and that he would like to share with others willing to learn the success that he has achieved. When I asked about the actual details of any potential business proposal or position I'd be taking, he insisted that it's not time for that yet, and I have 7 steps to get through in this screening process, and on the 4th step I will start to receive more information about the business.
Reluctantly, I agreed to continue giving this man chances. We met twice on google hangouts, and he lent me a PDF book about entrepreneurship and investments, which I was less enthused in reading. I started to read the preface, which made big promises and gave reasons to continue reading. But this was the same story for the first chapter, where it continued to make promises but not give any details. And so the book seemed to continue, as I skimmed over the next chapters and read further. Losing my interest and having other responsibilities with school starting again this fall, and maintaining good standing with my step-father and boss for my internship, I have become overwhelmed with responsibilities. So when our next meeting came up, and without good planning, I went to see the leader of the Buddhist temple I had been attending in person, forgetting to cancel the meeting.
These are the following messages:
Anish Babu Wrote:Hi Daniel, hope you’re ok. We had a meeting scheduled for 11:00am today, but you missed it.
Foha Wrote:I'm currently overwhelmed with managing new responsibilities since college started. Currently I am still adjusting and planning my time to be more consistent. Thank you for being interested in my well being. I am doing fine despite the stress.
Thank you for being understanding
Anish Babu Wrote:I was hoping you’d be more accountable and let me know earlier so I could’ve scheduled someone else in that spot.
Foha Wrote:If there is another way that I can repay you, please let me know.
I was hoping you'd be understanding and patient
However, by now I am feeling like he is being disingenuous. If what his claims about his character, his reasoning for helping others like myself without strings attached, and so-forth, why is he passing judgement when I fail to receive an act of freely given kindness?
So I thought long about how to convey my doubts and explain myself, so I wrote back again:
Foha Wrote:I have problems with this so far, Anish. Please bare with my reasoning. I have been under the impression that you were doing these things as an act of free giving, or of kindness. You said yourself that you are helping others in the same way you have been helped. I expected you to ask, if you were truly concerned about my well-being, of what responsibilities got in my way. You are keeping key aspects of this business proposal from my understanding. If you ask, I will tell you, but this is not the case in the other direction.
I cannot help but feel a bit deceived. When I offer something out of kindness, I do so without expecting something in return. Therefore, the person I am freely giving to cannot be held accountable. They can take it or leave it, and I try not to pass judgement. If your business model involves investing in people, but not giving them all the information and trusting their judgement for discernment, then you are the one taking the risk.
I also believe that teaching is one side of the same coin. The other side being learning. But so far, I am on a need-to-know basis about this proposal, which I am currently in the dark about. If I am not expected to understand until you offer understanding, then this relationship seems very one-sided. If something is always true, then it should be self-evident. Please give me faith that what you are doing is in good practice.
I have yet to receive a message from Anish. I decided to do research on his company, which seems to be private and there is little known. On a social website that lets people rate their employment at companies, he has many 1 star reviews for taking advantage of the employees he has that are public-facing. They complain they are given difficult, if not impossible quotas, and promised riches, yet received less than adequate pay in comparison to many entry level jobs. Some of them were even insulting Anish for his deceit.
I feel that I could have handled this better.
Is it wrong for me to think, "he is judging me when he has no right to"?
And I feel that even though I might feel giving should be done freely, and without requiring something in return, it is not my place to say so plainly. In doing so I am judging him, when I am affirming that he has no right to do so to me.
It's difficult to handle my emotions and act calmly even under great stress. I hope that I can start to see the truth even when buried under responsibilities in the future.
Looking back on it now that I am more calm, I can see that my best choice of action would have been to simply apologize. Hopefully with practice I can attain a stance with more wisdom in the future.