Ascension symptom thread

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Excuse me if this is improper, but, how old are you EvolvingPhoenix?

28. If I'm immature about this, please forgive me. I'm growing up as fast as I can. I umm... "skipped" a lot of the social drama most people dealt with at younger ages and I guess the lack of early catalyst on this regard is catching up to me. A result of having no friends until HS and only slowly learning to form deep relationships like this. So when, after years of mistreatment from others, including family, friends and peers, I finally meet some people who truly seemed like they could get me. Now they refuse to talk to me or hear me out or even READ any apologies I have sent to them.

And I have nobody to talk about it to, because the friends I still have think of me as a whiny b**** for talking about it. Can you blame me for not wanting to talk about it with them?

If I'm venting here, it's just because it's the only place that ever seems to listen.

I feel like I'm even running Y'ALLs patience thin with these posts and I'm sorry.

And have you finished reading through all of the Law of One sessions?

No. No I haven't. Which parts should I read that will most help me with this?

You aren't running anyone's patience, everyone are doing what they want out of their free will and desire to be of service.

Since you are somewhat mature I can be a little honest with you. (Hopefully)
A lot of what you are saying sounds like grudge to me. You aren't accepting things as they are and clinging onto the past. You need to let others be, they do not owe you anything, if you seek to be of service that is.
You see, humans have been known well for holding grudges. Causing more pain will not heal pain.
Would you really wish upon those you care about to suffer as you have just to prove a point?
You decide to spin the wheel on them, and who's to say they won't spin it back on you? When will it end? Who's going to be the one to stop the cycle of pain and suffering if not the one who forgives unconditionally. Nobody ever said it wil be easy, it is an honor and a duty.

I highly suggest that you learn through all of The Law of One sessions. That is where your answers lie.

True enough I suppose. Like I said though: Easier to forgive if I know what I'm forgiving. The hardest part is not being sure where I went wrong and where they went wrong, since apparently they can do no wrong and I can do no right.