06-06-2018, 07:42 PM
Onesideness in relationships usually just boils down to that you are trying to fill a need for yourself using someone else and it does not go as you wish it did.
I've been balancing a friend's breakup lately (he got dumped in his own self-written worst scenario, truly poetic) and I see similar struggles with selfishness. In the end, were not all the work, efforts and apologies you've done just for yourself, based on how you feel things and not really for someone else? I personally give little value to apologies because people apology for themselves at the time they want to, so you can have just never got hurt or have got over something and the person will live alone their little moment of seeking redemption upon something they feel bad with themselves about, it's never really about you. A true apology comes I guess when asked for, but should not be any forced either because that's just lying telling someone what they want to hear, it should instead go along the lines of "I'm sorry you were hurt and I don't wish for that" more than admitting to being wrong which is just its own work of acceptance that still needs to be done.
You seem to want your lack of love to be rewarded because of your dependence upon the relationship, which would go down to self-esteem issues you can't help but project into your relationships and which, albeit perhaps satisfied for a time, always come back to that you feel unwhole with yourself.
Release it all, your friend is just your own self in other circumstances, it isn't wrong. Although you think your friend is s***, he's probably being the right catalyst to help you transform at this time, one day you'll be thankful for that.
I've been balancing a friend's breakup lately (he got dumped in his own self-written worst scenario, truly poetic) and I see similar struggles with selfishness. In the end, were not all the work, efforts and apologies you've done just for yourself, based on how you feel things and not really for someone else? I personally give little value to apologies because people apology for themselves at the time they want to, so you can have just never got hurt or have got over something and the person will live alone their little moment of seeking redemption upon something they feel bad with themselves about, it's never really about you. A true apology comes I guess when asked for, but should not be any forced either because that's just lying telling someone what they want to hear, it should instead go along the lines of "I'm sorry you were hurt and I don't wish for that" more than admitting to being wrong which is just its own work of acceptance that still needs to be done.
You seem to want your lack of love to be rewarded because of your dependence upon the relationship, which would go down to self-esteem issues you can't help but project into your relationships and which, albeit perhaps satisfied for a time, always come back to that you feel unwhole with yourself.
Release it all, your friend is just your own self in other circumstances, it isn't wrong. Although you think your friend is s***, he's probably being the right catalyst to help you transform at this time, one day you'll be thankful for that.
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