Blockages

[Glow]

Hey, I've a feeling/thought circling around me. I would appreciate your opinions regarding this.

So, I've been wondering. Is it possible that when I experience joy, bliss, fun, amusement, an other self suffers at my expense? (Does that make any sense?)

I'm feeling really lost, and can't get myself to balance, or be my true self.

It really feels like unworthiness, to be living here right now as me with others in this place and time.

There's so much beauty, inside and outside, and my fears and worries are pulling me down.

All that I know, is that I do not wish to make others suffer if I have a choice/possibility to ease/help in that.

So there's this huge "hole" in my heart, and I kind of came to accept that I deserve to be in pain.

Every so often when I'd feel good, I would depress/judge/block that emotion/experience, in fear of hurting another.

Thoughts?


Thank you.

You are really over thinking this. The balance isn't 1 to 1 good/light/joy for bad/dark/sad. The bad works with the good. As light increases there is less need for dark. Sometimes the most extreme darkness happening in the most saturating extreme light as the shadows are deep.

You do no one any good choosing to suffer unless you wish to suffer as part of your own growth.
If you want to help you learn to heal your own wounds and truly love and accept yourself, with that you change the balance of the collective consciousness and the burden on others is lightened so there is less darkness over all and it becomes easier for others to do the same.

If we are all one and you think you are not worthy what does that say of your perception of the whole?
Heal your wounds, focus on that with joy in your heart that you are helping the whole.