Catalyst

[MangusKhan]

Is there any interesting catalyst you have come across? How did you respond?

I saw a license plate that started with KLL  and made me think Kill.
Then 10 minutes later I saw another that started with KMN which stands for Kill Me Now.

I started to have some fear that my schizophrenia was starting up again and my mind started to create stories that I'd better kill myself before my ability gets out of control and I go insane again.

But I quickly allowed myself to just be ok, and didn't give my energy to the situation. Soon the catalyst was processed.

I asked my guidance and it said this post would be of benefit to others.

I also had catalyst earlier today where my heart started to open a little and begin to feel God's love. I was going to break down in tears, but I held my composure.
So there was positive-feeling catalyst as well.

I feel like these instances aren't directly catalyst, but are rather residual physic energies from previous catalysts manifesting in your thoughts. I wonder, why didn't you allow yourself to cry? I think crying is a good thing. Every tear is a freed prisoner, a glorification of sorrow and joy, relinquished from your self and offered to the creator.

My catalyst of present is anger. Wrath at those who would dare act outside of my wishes. That immense urge to unleash hell on perceived traitors and restore order, even if I'm 1500km away. I can't say I'm at the point of accepting this wrath and blessing it.