Hopelessness

[Surfboard]

As for being forced into an endless reincarnation cycle due to free will being an illusion, I don't think that's a significant possibility. I myself haven't encountered anything in my life to consider free will as anything other than fact. In my experience, Choices and Intentions are genuinely real things, in a similar manner to Love and Fear also being 'real' in ways the Ra Material goes over. You can literally fill rooms with Emotion, I've done this and experienced other do it, and you can also charge water with Intentions, which are merely decisions. The scientific hypothesis that free will is an illusion rests on the idea that Consciousness cannot affect anything. It's to say that the 'ghost in the shell' of the body has the property of having no influence on anything. Since no scientist has been able to provide any scientific evidence that consciousness itself even exists in the first place, saying definitively that it works or does not work in any particular way at this point seems illogical. It's my position that the fear you describe of experiencing an infinite incarnation loop due to a lack of free will isn't justified. I just don't think it's an idea you should entertain.

I hope you find some hope in the future.

First off thank you for the reply

I wish it would be simple to not entertain the idea of the law of free will. As I balance all the experiences in my life and dive into the depths of my mind, I find that nothing matters and we don't have true free will. I remember when I was a young lad I was hitting my arm and thought why are you hitting yourself. Ever since that moment I can see that my thoughts control me, but know that I dont control my thoughts. After that I would always forget about it because it would drive me insane to think about. Ra doesn't directly break the law of freewill so he doesnt break the law of confusion, but he says that our path is determined by 6th density.

I find that my only hope is to experience and keep on experiencing, even though I'm closed off from the world. If I keep on balancing the parts of me that don't need experience, I become closer to dying. As the thought of no freewill smothers my mind, it starts to draw energy from the rest of my body where I need it (Crohn's in the colon). I can feel the stress as the thoughts intrigue me and one after another flying out of some hidden place in my mind they take over as if a negative thought form is charging my third eye. I have to start making random sounds to save myself from accessing the gates of intelligent infinity.

I am always able to somehow find hope whether it is blind or not since I feel as though I have to have hope to escape this life. But in the back of my head the thoughts that this is where you went wrong or do this instead of that to change the outcome still reside. Maybe I will walk around with the thought of nothing matters and i have no hope, and try to experience hope first hand. This seemingly if my best option since I don't have the ability to feel for others and I can't meditate on the thought because I'll be restarting this incarnation.

I might add that I feel as though I'm trying to solve a riddle with thought, but the only way to solve it is with mindless action.