Service vs Disservice

[Minyatur]

If you would like, you can tell me what your experience of me felt like and what thoughts went through your head.   It would be helpful for me to learn what I could work on and it could be an opportunity for you to release any resentments, hurts or whatever by holding me accountable.  I believe I may have been a brat.  Brutal honesty is best.   But only if you would like to.  And thank you again.  Hugs

I think I've mostly just thought that it is understandable. Before your recent long post I thought your focus hinted at that you had events in your life that related to your position and how you feel about things, and reading that post allowed me to connect to it in greater compassion, it made me happy to read of your choice to turn around your fate.

I say a lot here that's not necessarily how I'd bring things to someone in real life, because of the context of the forum and my experience with the material. I think the view of unity only ever makes sense if you attempt to see the whole as whole, to see the infinite as infinite, to see life as eternal. The material says that the Universe at first had no knowledge of the negative path, it just bred positive beings in a monochrone experience and that this came to be seen as lacking and not offering a quality experience to the Creator, then experiments were made to create a separation within experience and pass down free will as not only part of the Cosmic Plan but as a self's own, to make choices as to how it seeks know itself, to cut the umbilical cord with the Logos. I think it is in the nature of spirit to seek vivid experiences, but to have them it needs to allow itself to be confused, to be made vulnerable, to be hurt and heal to only remember later. In this view no matter how bad and traumatic one's life is, one will gravitate toward realizing that it has always been, that it is infinite, that it is love and light born and that it is Creator.

I do get your idea on how "no good nor evil" could be used against people, but then I think history has shown us that "good and evil" are equally usable for this purpose. How many wars have happened in the name of good to obtain land, using the fear of damnation and the hope of redemption as manipulative tools; how many innocents were tortured by the catholic church, being demonized as evil to not fit with the beliefs they taught, admitting crimes they had never done so the torture stops to then be shamed in front of the masses as evil to die as an entertainment of evil receiving its just treatment. I think one of the dangers of good and evil is how each defines them uniquely and how people can adhere to beliefs that good can be without goodness toward another so long the authority of good gives the order.

I think one of the gift of my current life is how I am able to think and feel without great trauma, but then again, I've so far opened to a few lifetimes where I had quite the nasty deaths. A few times I completely passed out (especially before being on the spiritual path) because of triggers (an image, movies, a book..), one time with friends they were reading about humanity's worst people (because of a thread made here) and when it came to one particular individual (a woman at that) I started to feel insanely bad and my vision went out while I was standing, seeing literally nothing, and when my friends were done reading it still took a bit to come back and I had to let them go ahead a bit and caught up when able to see enough. Another time it felt like it was just going increasingly worse and worse but I turned all the traumatic energy into my crown and saw it open and I went out of my body, I forgot what happened til the moment I knew I'd forget about it and saw the moment I forgot and go back into my body, I think that time I distilled the energy in time/space because it was easier there. So I know how nasty trauma is, and it is probably not for nothing Ra says we have a quite vivid experience here, but I also tried to align these things with my higher self and attempt to see the purpose of these lifetimes and my own will in them, which I think is easier from outside the same life than from within it, makes it more indirect and so you don't identify with it although I do indentify with the portions of me I felt to be released in alleviating the energy, just not with them broken and so I could seek to restore them.

Anyway I went a bit off track, but I think things are definitely complex and not so easy to sort out.