STS Orion Crusader here, Polarizatunity.

[Stranger]

I don't know why, but this topic is hitting a nerve with me. There's just something so horrifying about being trapped inside a machine, powerless. A great horror movie plot, if I were into such. But I did find the other account to which I had referred. Here it is, from Convoluted Universe Book 3.

T: I’m allowing myself to just float in. And I’m seeing what
looks like a city inside here. I don’t understand yet what I’m
seeing, but I’m seeing many little creatures. They look almost
like little ants, very industrious. It seems like everybody –
and I hesitate to call them people – are moving about with a
purpose, very industrious. On the outside, this place seems
so serene and dreamlike, just this big, white, huge expanse.
And inside, it’s darker, and not what I expected. It’s very big.
And it goes, I suppose, down in the ground, and maybe, yes,
up higher. These sort of creatures are very busy doing things
– like building things. There are many levels, like it’s
stacked. The word “city” comes to mind, but it’s not really a
city. It has different rooms, almost different sections. It’s
like if you cut into a doll house, and you can see into each
room. I felt a little anxious coming here. I don’t like it.
Maybe because, right now it seems very alien, not soft or
human or easy. I think these creatures are alive, but they
seem very robotic in that they don’t have much choice. Like
they’re very programmed with what they’re doing. Nobody
is looking up or conversing or being friendly. It seems mainly
more... what do I want to say? Technology more than
mechanical. But they’re all hugely industrious and not to be
diverted from what they’re doing. Very intent on their
purpose.
D: Is that why you think it bothered you?
T: Yes. It doesn’t seem very pleasant or very happy. It seems
very harsh here. All these creatures are working in close
proximity to each other, some of them are stacked, standing
on top of each other. There is no respect. There’s no
individuality.
She described the creatures’ hands as having a type of feelers,
rather than fingers. They used these to manipulate little buttons,
little lights on small boxes. They could move these rather
quickly, like somebody typing or playing a piano, only they were
doing it with little boxes of light.
T: They’re causing something to happen, with these little boxes.
Something that’s way outside whatever this structure is. I
don’t know if this is a building in the ground, or if it could be
a spaceship. It’s very, very huge. I have this sense that
they’re directing many things. Almost like they’re neurons in
a big brain, or something. And by manipulating these little
boxes, they’re causing something outside the structure to
occur. I don’t know that they’re individuals, or there’s a
group consciousness, or if they’re parts of a whole. Or if
they’re mechanical.
I asked for a physical description of these strange creatures.
T: They have eyes, but they do this work more by touch. It’s a
very rote thing. (Then a sudden shocking revelation.) As I
said that, I had a sense that I’ve ... I’ve been one of these.
(She began to cry.) And I don’t like it.
As she said this she unexpectedly became one of them. She
entered a body identical to the ones she had been describing
objectively.
T: (Sadly) It’s just not a very happy existence. It’s feeling like
there isn’t much choice, and it’s just – not very happy. It’s a
drudgery. What are we accomplishing? Oh, my heavens!
We don’t have any choice, and we don’t do anything else.
It’s really funny, because in some way we are alive. But we
don’t – at least, I don’t like doing this. I just keep having to
do it. And I don’t know how long I’ve done it, but it seems
like an eternity. It seems endless that I stay in this thing doing
this.
D: Does your body feel mechanical, or like it is of a substance?
T: It feels kind of hard and crispy, like I have a shell. I have
legs, I think, but I feel somehow, I’m propelled more than I
walk. I sort of flow along, or scoot along, but I don’t do it by
moving legs. I feel like I’m mechanical, or bug-like, or I’ve
been bred to do this thing, and I just do it. I don’t know
where I came from, and I don’t know this will end. And I
don’t know how I’ve been created. I don’t get that anybody
or anything cares or understands. I think that whoever or
whatever is in charge of me doesn’t understand that there’s
some sentience here. There is a big lack of feeling. That
somehow I’m regarded as a creature or a thing, and it is not
known that I have a consciousness.
D: Do you know why you have to do these repetitive motions?
T: I have a sense that I am keeping some beings, or something,
alive. That somehow we’re a background behind the scenes,
like an energy, that somehow keeps some kind of world in
existence, by our motions. And I don’t think the world that
we keep alive is the world that’s caused us into being.
There’s something else above and beyond us that doesn’t
understand that we know what we know. And doesn’t
understand, or doesn’t care that this isn’t fun. I think I have
a shift that I go away from it, and I am worked on. I go some
place else, and I’m deactivated and maybe cleaned up in some
way, maintained in some way. And I think that I go to sleep,
go dormant.
D: Can you see what kind of place that is?
T: Some other level in some other kind of pod, or room, or
whatever we’re calling these things. And I slip into a little
unit, like I click into a place. The way you recharge a razor or
something. I go to this place, and I kind of click into it, and
I am deactivated. I lose my power. My consciousness. And
something happens to me. Like I’m cleaned up, or
reenergized, or I don’t know what happens. But I click into
there, and then quickly just kind of disappear. And then the
next thing I know, that little thing unclicks me, and spits me
out. And I go back and do the same thing.
D: So that’s the only rest you get from it. Otherwise, it’s just
continual?
T: Seems like it. And it’s not a rest, because I don’t know about
it.
D: Do you require any sustenance of any kind to keep you alive?
T: If I do, I get it there, and I don’t know what it is. There may
be something that’s in this atmosphere that’s almost sprayed,
or in whatever the atmosphere is in this place. That keeps me
going. And I don’t know if that keeps me healthy, or tuned
up, or if it sustains me, if it’s my fuel. I don’t know. But as
I stay there longer, I feel more and more that I’m regarded as
mechanical, as a piece of machinery. I do have
consciousness. But I don’t think I can communicate with any
of these other machines, or robots, or beings, or whatever we
are. It’s really strange. It’s like somehow a consciousness
has been created, and they don’t know that we’re conscious.
It would never occur to whoever created us. I can only
assume these other beings feel the same way, but we cannot
communicate. I feel like I am totally locked inside this. I do
this, because I have no choice. And I have the sense that, in
a way, it’s a hell. I know it has meaning, but for me
personally, it’s meaningless. It’s repetition. And I’m locked
in here, and I can’t communicate. I can’t communicate. It’s
hopeless! It’s hopeless! I’m totally locked into this shell of
a machine doing this work.
I thought it was time that we found out how this all began.
How this soul came to be in this dreadful situation. “We can
move backwards, because we can manipulate time. You can find
out how this was created and who did it. Move backwards to
when you first went into this.”
T: So they know! I don’t like this, because they know! I don’t
know what the reason is, but I do know that this is a
mechanical thing, or a synthesized thing. It is something
that’s made. It’s not an organically grown thing. There’s a
consciousness that then is united, and they recognize that. It
appears that my consciousness is placed. It’s like it’s poofed
into... like it’s blown into this thing. It’s like a little poof.
And I’m put into here, and they know that.
This was exactly the same process that was described in “The
Mechanical Person” in Book One. A tiny piece of consciousness
was blown into the robot and it was activated.
D: What was your consciousness before that?
T: I’m a little organic being, and I’m grown. I’m not sure what
it is, but it’s this little round ball that seems more organic.
What I see is like an assembly line place, where the ball
somehow comes from one direction on this assembly line.
And then these little robot things come from another. And
there is a place where you’re injected into this.
D: And you were in the little ball as a consciousness?
T: Yes, yes, yes. I was. And somehow, somebody, something
– I haven’t seen that yet – has grown us. And has created this
little consciousness, and then they put us in this robot. There
is a consciousness that’s ... grown. I’ll use the test-tube baby
example.
D: Then these little mechanical things cannot operate without
this little spark, a little piece of consciousness inside.
T: Right. And so we’re bred to inhabit this little machine. This
is not very good being one of these things.
D: I guess the person who does this, or whoever has invented
this, doesn’t think about that.
T: I think they may tell themselves, whether they know or not,
there’s not enough sentience in there that it matters, because
we’re bred to do this. But my experience is that it’s drudgery.
It’s really funny. When you’re back with all these little round
beings on this conveyor belt, there isn’t that sense of
hopelessness and drudgery. The little balls are okay. The
little balls are just there. But not when they get into the
mechanical thing. When you get out into this big, giant
factory, city, control center – I don’t know what it is. It’s
layers and layers, and rooms and rooms and rooms. There are
hundreds and thousands of these little beings doing this little
manipulation thing. When I floated into that, the sense was
that it was so sad and hopeless.
D: Let’s see if we can find who is doing all of this. The ones who
created all these things in the first place.
T: What I do is float back. And I am seeing some beings who are
quite large. They’re much more amorphous and softer in
shape. More out of light, or some other substance, than I
understand as our physical substance. And they create things.
(Seeing them began to affect Tina physically.) Oh! It’s very
tiring to ... look at them. I have to take a breath. (She
breathed deeply.) They are able to manifest ... think things
into being.
D: Why is that tiring to watch them?
T: I don’t think they’re very nice. It’s not that they’re bad, but
they’re uncaring. They are very large, and very powerful.
And they have – I guess it’s a – mental ability.
D: Are they physical beings?
T: They’re physical, but they’re more refined from what I know
is physical. They have kind of an amorphous light shape, and
very large, dark round eyes. And I can’t see anything else. I
don’t see hands. I don’t see feet. It’s not Casper, the ghost,
but it’s a white thing like that. Very tall, maybe 20 feet tall,
with these big eyes. And they don’t have to do anything. (It
was difficult to explain.) We’re causing something to be
either mined or obtained. We’re causing something to happen
by remote control. And what I don’t like is, we have been
caused to come into being simply to serve them. This is
interesting. They’re very refined physically, but they
somehow have a need or dependence in the physical world.
And they create things like us to interface and cause things to
happen in the physical world. There are not nearly as many
of them as there are of us. We don’t create. They create us,
and then we obtain things for them, something that they either
use themselves, or trade for other things that they need. And
it’s tiring and exhausting, because it’s relentless. (She began
crying.) That I have no choice but to keep doing this very
tiring stuff day after day. It’s for them, and they don’t care.
And I don’t know if there is an end. (Her voice was filled
with despair.) I suspect that maybe at some time we get old
and die. And I don’t know what happens to us then, but we
do this far longer than we want to. (She cried harder.) It’s a
total servitude. Total, with no choice and no hope. And no
gratitude, because they don’t even know that we can feel.
And if they would know, I don’t think they would care. We
are just doing their bidding continuously, continuously.
What’s amazing about it, as I look at it from this viewpoint ...
these creatures have an incredible influence all over a
universe, to different planets. Getting what they need. They
are fear-inspiring in their coldness. There is no respect for
anybody but themselves. It’s not that they’re consciously
evil. It’s just clueless. They are just totally involved in
themselves and taking care of themselves.
D: Very self-centered.
T: Totally.
She was finally able to have a partial understanding of what
their job was in these strange surroundings. Their little box was
controlling, by remote control, what machines were doing on the
planet. It had to do with a type of mining operation. Smaller
unmanned ships or devices could be directed to fly to another
world, mine a yellow powder, and fill pods, which were then
dumped somewhere else. The powder was used as fuel for
different purposes. The larger beings could have been located
somewhere else, because their part in this was the creation of the
little robots, so the mining machines could have been located
anywhere. It wouldn’t matter as long as they were doing their
job.
I decided it was time to move her from that scene to an
important day, if there could possibly be an important day in such
a dismal life of repetitive drudgery. She entered into the scene
crying, but it was a weeping of relief, not despair.
T: It’s the day when I die. And I’m so glad to get out of there.
I just disappear. And I leave. I leave. I leave that robot, and
it’s so good. (Crying) God, it’s so good to get out of there!
D: How did the robot die?
T: Something happened in my consciousness, and I just
dispersed. I don’t know how or why, but I was held together
in that little ball powering that. And I guess this would be my
death. Something disintegrated so that it could no longer be
contained. Like the tension on a bubble, the way a bubble
bursts.
D: Did you see anything happening to the body?
T: I evaporated. The robot stayed there, and it was
disempowered. It was either in its plugged-in place, or in its
job. The little robot thing kind of crumpled a little bit. It was
deactivated. And I dispersed into such tiny particles that I
could go through the molecules of the robot. Whatever held
me didn’t hold me anymore. It was like a snap of the fingers.
In an instant, I dispersed. And then I just floated up and left
it. It was incredible. That was the only good day of my life
there. To get out of that. That was bad. That was bad! I’m
floating away. I don’t want to stay there. And it’s just getting
increasingly distant ... and smaller.
She seemed like she couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
She wanted to put as much distance between those beings and her
spirit as possible.
D:Why did you decide to do that in the first place? From where
you are now you can see why you chose to experience a life
like that. I’m not going to make you go back into it. We can
just observe.
T: (A shock.) I was one of those really large beings! And I
guess I needed to know what effect I had. (She paused for a
moment to catch her breath and take this new development
in.) I was on the other side of it. Now I have the knowledge,
that I needed to know what effect I had, because these really
large beings have a great effect. They’re huge with a lot of
influence, and yet, they don’t have any understanding of their
influence. I have had many other experiences, not just in the
robot life, but other kinds of things being under the influence
of these very huge, gray beings. Because I had a long life as
one of those, not having any understanding of my
responsibility. I was very cold and very selfish, and not
understanding my effect. And having done that, it was time
to see what that effect was like, because you can’t do that.
Maybe it is teaching, but it is simply cause and effect. You
can’t do anything without having an effect. And so, I had to
experience the effect. I had to know what it was like. What
I had done.