Vent (Trigger warning)

[MangusKhan]

If nothing goes right, I'd rather kill myself over and over until there's no Earth or remotely similar planets to incarnate on anymore.

Ah, but the veil. You would not be able to retain this will across incarnations. Your only option, if you are serious, would be to gain access to the inside of a nuclear reactor while it's operating, and proceed to utterly disintegrate your body/bodies. You would also have to accompany this self-destruction with a powerful magical statement forbidding any entity from bringing you back from non-existence.

I don't suggest this at all, nor do I think it's really within the realm of possibility, but that maybe you would find some interest in knowing this.

Now, seriously, you will have to learn to see these experiences as a gift. They absolutely will be if you can manage to do so. Seriously ask yourself, do you want an existence which is nothing but the same old plain rice day and butter day after day, or do you want that spicy curry? I decided for myself not all that long ago that I'm here for the spicy curry. That means embracing the fact that I'm going to get burned. However, just like the burning that chilli in a curry can give you, the pain that you feel in this world is also an illusion. How much easier it is to eat a spicy curry, when you know that no harm is actually being done to you. You can eat even a very spicy curry and revel in the intense sensation it gives you even while you cry and sweat and blow your nose, because you know that it is actually nothing but an illusion. You are not really burning. In the same way you should live, reveling in the sheer intensity of experience which you are being offered.

Eat the spicy curry and thank the chef. Then be proud that you learned to enjoy chilli. It feels so good to be strong, especially if it's a strength earned through pain.

All my love for an entity attempting to forge itself through intense heat. I hope you wake up feeling peace and strength.