I don't want to be awake.

[Coordinate_Apotheosis]

Elros, I think even here there are few completely awake.  The old saying, WAKE UP SHEEPLE comes to mind.  It may be harsh to ask but are you awake?  Do you think saying yes isn't an egotistical statement?  Or that saying no is somehow humbling?

It is a very insincere game in regards to how we should regard ego as something to be overcome or rebirthed.

I never looked at my ego during my 'awakening', I noted profound changes that in retrospect I would not describe as overcoming or defeating, but instead it was like the ego matured and changed.  It only fell away once those things happened and led me to deep realization of the Law of One.  Once I was unable to make further progress in that realization my ego came back and it, was, pissed.

We are our ego as much as our soul.  Remember, how we're all 3D?  How would you feel, if you existed to be overcome, as if you were a hurdle, an obstacle?  Something to be discarded and defeated?
It'd hurt me personally.  Even as an ego-based person, if anything else were possible, I still managed to be loving.  I don't really understand or know deeply anything though.

I find awakening shouldn't be the goal or point, or that overcoming the ego is basically a bad idea.

One needs to unify the self.  This means taking in the ego with forgiveness, compassion, acceptance, unconditional love.  Let it exist, let it grope in the darkness, don't make it a shadow of opposition, help sooth it.  When you hunger, feed yourself.

One does not become enlightened by seeing the Light, but by making the Dark conscious.

In the beginning there was nothingness, darkness.  Then there was consciousness.  We could call the very creation mythos a result of enlightenment.  Instead of fretting the abyss of emptiness, Creator accepted it as it was, and this act transformed it into Light. (Simplified explanation).

What's wrong with not being awake?  If everyone was awake there'd be no challenge.  We'd all realize the same things and we'd all lack the excuses to perpetuate the world as it is today.

In a way, half-awake is the most efficacious place to be.  All the roads are available, and when one becomes awakened/enlightened it is temporary as we all must sleep again eventually only to inevitably wake up again, resulting in a cycle of sleep and awakening or basically a way to continual enlightenment.

It is not surprising to me then that some whom wake up desire to go back to sleep.  It is not that they are not ready, but that that's the path they desire to take.

Being asleep isn't a bad thing.  Many dreams manifest during such time, and much potential for work still exists, it's just not distinctly known like before.  Working in slumber is a lot harder, but the rewards are greater.  Working awake just makes things more efficient.

So, I'd say you should look at your words as if they were said from you to yourself.  You too appear to be unaware of what it means to really be awake.  And so do I, cause I sure don't know beyond a very brief glimpse that has left me, overall, more confused than ever.

777 has my acceptance, may their journey become ever better throughout, even in the face of things they would rather avoid.  That this new year should treat them good.  That they'll treat themself good.

I'm sorry for your suffering, but you know. You're a jackpot.  Your number is going to come up, so don't give up, just take a break.  I understand your expressed feelings, and wish only the best for you regardless. (And with that said don't throw all your coins at the machine until you win, you might go broke, so take a break, and play responsibly )