Do wanderers generally drink?

[Ankh]

Couple of years ago I suffered from severe dizziness, which was crippling. I couldn't plan anything. Simple things like going to a grocery shop was dependent upon how severe dizziness was at that moment. And I always had to have a shopping cart with me, so I could support myself and lean upon it while walking. I remember that during this time I could stand and watch people from my window. I looked at them as they were hasting away to their chores, jobs, etc. completely unaware of how lucky they were having this freedom. They took it for granted. These are natural, simple things! But I couldn't. And I felt like being in prison. 

Today, I'm fascinated by people who have never felt or lived or know what an addiction is. Who could drink one beer or not at all, like my neighbor. I met him a while ago and he was about to fly to London. He was afraid of flying. Well, I told him, take a beer, it makes you care less. He answered that he wished that he could, but he "doesn't drink". "Doesn't drink", I thought... There are actually people who don't drink indeed! How about that? Or those who tasted a cigarette and then didn't like it. There are actually people who *don't smoke*! I tasted my first cigarette when I was twelve, and already then I knew *instantly* that I'm going to be a smoker.

Recently I had a heart-to-heart, deep conversation with a co-worker, who suddenly opened up to me and told me how addicted she is to candy (and sugar). And I saw deep *sorrow* in her eyes as she opened up and was telling me about heart deceases that run in her family. How clogged her blood-vessels must look inside and how high risk she is running by eating candy. And yet, she said, she can't stop. Candy is everywhere. In every store, it's right there in front of you at the registers. In every gas station. And all the commercials then... And she eats enormous amounts of it, every day. She is even too scared to count how much. And of course, she has anxiety about it. But she was just so, so sad about it! It's so harmful but just so impossible to stop. Imagine how a person must feel inside when having this addiction, knowing about all those great risks and yet, not being able to stop! What a sorrow...

Anyways, it is just so fascinating to me that there are people out there, who have never felt an addiction. Who doesn't know what it is. They don't know of any of those struggles, anxiety and self condemnation. So, I am not surprised if they judge those who are addicted or overuse. I understand them very well. How would they know any of the struggles to quit that poison which destroys you, if they never themselves felt it, and if they did, could stop rather quickly? It would even be natural to judge! Because, from the outside, how stupid isn't it to smoke?! Or overuse alcohol?! Or take drugs? Very, very stupid! Irrational. And even, shall I say, unintelligent. But I don't regard myself as being unaware beginner of third density with random catalysts. And yet, this "curse" is there. And no matter what I do, it keeps following me like it would be my own shadow!