Why Aren't Men Fighting Back? - The Sexual Assault of Men and Boys

[Aion]

Well, I always seek to comprehend what is and is not valid but I am mostly seeking, or perhaps I should say, am waiting to see discussion aimed away from accusation and directed more towards finding the underlying love in these scenarios.

Hmm, well I think that is an attitude that leans towards peace, but I think you also understand that trauma can make love harder to grasp. Are you saying people should love their rapists? I think it's an ideal spiritual notion but in a very human way shouldn't really be expected. The thing I always try to remember when I talk with people is that I have no idea 'where they're at'. I have no idea what work they've done, what things they've been through or the things they've felt. Even if they tell me some things, I don't really know. I think that this, for me, alleviates a lot of the pressure of conversation. I found that over time I stopped wanting to know things about people mentally for the sake of content and instead I focused more on what connects people to the heart. I think a lot of talk is 'head talk' and not 'heart talk'. I always like to learn but when each part of reality is an endless well of ideas you have to choose a bit where you swim if you have any desire other than wandering forever.

However, I have found that the heart doesn't always speak from happiness, it can also speak from sorrow. I've found that a lot of people want to feel supported. It doesn't really matter exactly what you say a lot of the time, what matters for people is if you make them feel how they want to feel. Of course, no one is obligated to do that, and indeed plenty of people even take pride in turning others on their heads or trying to change how others feel - whether it be for the purpose of control and coercion or some self-perceived desire to 'help'. I think that even people that are highly mental and intellectual are still driven by feeling and will engage in 'mental pursuits' to move closer towards the state of inner existence they most desire.

So, if I then look at the idea of love. Love is a pretty difficult concept to accurately define. It is mysterious, creative and almost obsessive in its active manifestations, but laid back, refined and deep in its passive. I think that for myself I would first examine my own desires. I like to explain things, so that's what I do a lot of the time. I have a special love of trying to 'speak the words others are thinking'. I see you wish for less accusation and I feel that this is something you feel personally 'attacked' by but then seek the 'underlying love'. This suggests to me that you are very much suffering from a broken heart and a large part of your emotional turmoils surrounding your self image are projected through this broken heart.

I think a lot of people want to feel validated in their existence. That they're not 'wrong' or 'bad'. Others are convinced they are so bad that they are irredeemable and they cannot possibly be validated or that is in itself a sort of validation. Some don't even take the time to think about it, or don't need to. I personally have been through all of these probably at some point, and that is likely true for many.

What I attempt to practice through my communications and interactions is both disposition and clear projection. I understand that I project, it is inevitable, so knowing that I attempt to make my projections as genuine as possible. Geniune meaning from the heart. Disposition is to try to put myself in the perspective of another. This sometimes yields surprising results. A lot of the time I think people say words which don't really reflect their disposition. I always try to go beyond words yet remain aware that they are the vehicle of my expression on some level.

Now I've said a lot of what I think, various thoughts and ramblings, but ultimately I haven't really said a whole lot of anything. What I have done is create an emotional vehicle which is the actual communication.