I am gonna play devil's advocate a bit and while I do agree we have to look past the ultimate duality-based sense of gender, I would also contend that there are still lots of people who also prefer to be simply referred to as 'he" or "she". So, what it seems the argument comes down to a lot of the time is the 'virtue of support', in that it's often considered 'morally better' to put aside your own preferences in order to stand behind a group or individual who has been or is being victimized. This is all well and good as a noble action but I ponder on at what point it becomes social judgement.
Basically, my thought is, why should anyone have to change for the comfort of others? I'm sure some will say they don't, but that they will be left behind by those they alienate. Keep in mind I'm addressing this as a devil's advocate. What it usually comes to is the subject of 'systematic discrimination', in otherwords when peoples' natural (such as skin colour) or chosen (such as gender) becomes a basis upon which they are denied regular access to the same parts of society as everybody else. (Society is full of pockets of exclusivity and cliques, but that's a whole other topic.) However, I question whether or not the misuse of pronouns actually falls under such an umbrella. It seems to be more about prejudice, fear, hate and emotional states.
What does fall under that umbrella is stuff like bathroom discrimination, employment discrimination, bully culture, etc, and these are all very real issues. Perhaps the misuse of pronouns can be placed under the bully culture at times, that is true.
What I am getting at here is that it all comes back to normalization and that what is being strived for is a 'new normal' as it were. Those who wish for this new normal may have as much of a hard time understanding those who want to stay in the current normal as vice versa. "Out with the old, in with the new" is certainly uplifting for the new, but can be pretty terrifying for the old. So what I want to express is really a need for compassion on all sides. People who are struggling to enter in to the new, who are non-binary, genderfluid or whatever they may be need a lot of compassion and support, but I also think that those struggling with the constant pressure to change and evolve deserve some good compassion too. It's not an easy thing for the whole world to flip on its head over a few decades and expand at such a rapid rate.
Everyone needs to give everyone a bit of a break, imo. (I don't mean you guys specifically.) I think that as was mentioned our close proximity and lack of auric, emotional and mental space contributes immensely to these conflicts.
Personally, I am fine calling people whatever they want and go to a gender neutral 'this one' or 'they' when referring to people I am uncertain of.
Basically, my thought is, why should anyone have to change for the comfort of others? I'm sure some will say they don't, but that they will be left behind by those they alienate. Keep in mind I'm addressing this as a devil's advocate. What it usually comes to is the subject of 'systematic discrimination', in otherwords when peoples' natural (such as skin colour) or chosen (such as gender) becomes a basis upon which they are denied regular access to the same parts of society as everybody else. (Society is full of pockets of exclusivity and cliques, but that's a whole other topic.) However, I question whether or not the misuse of pronouns actually falls under such an umbrella. It seems to be more about prejudice, fear, hate and emotional states.
What does fall under that umbrella is stuff like bathroom discrimination, employment discrimination, bully culture, etc, and these are all very real issues. Perhaps the misuse of pronouns can be placed under the bully culture at times, that is true.
What I am getting at here is that it all comes back to normalization and that what is being strived for is a 'new normal' as it were. Those who wish for this new normal may have as much of a hard time understanding those who want to stay in the current normal as vice versa. "Out with the old, in with the new" is certainly uplifting for the new, but can be pretty terrifying for the old. So what I want to express is really a need for compassion on all sides. People who are struggling to enter in to the new, who are non-binary, genderfluid or whatever they may be need a lot of compassion and support, but I also think that those struggling with the constant pressure to change and evolve deserve some good compassion too. It's not an easy thing for the whole world to flip on its head over a few decades and expand at such a rapid rate.
Everyone needs to give everyone a bit of a break, imo. (I don't mean you guys specifically.) I think that as was mentioned our close proximity and lack of auric, emotional and mental space contributes immensely to these conflicts.
Personally, I am fine calling people whatever they want and go to a gender neutral 'this one' or 'they' when referring to people I am uncertain of.