11-05-2017, 01:12 PM
It's so interesting what can be a synchronicity.
I just had a synchronicity of 9:44 on the clock the moment I sat down from finishing mopping the floors.
I find life for me is most likely (since I do not know for sure) one giant synchronicity. There is no random that hasn't been planned for. My entire existence as who I am now seems to be one giant plan.
My ego feels powerless to work with it, my spirit abounds with joy at the prospect of working with it.
I find my fear is being worked on currently. My anxiety is the theme to heal currently. I had this lesson once in 2013 and moved through it with relative ease thanks to cannabis exacerbating my anxiety so that my rational mind could see how irrational the fears were.
Now that I'm not smoking daily with all of my free time, my sober mind is more caught up with the emotion than my disassociated high mind would let me. It was training wheels and now here's the real thing.
I'm so tired too, such low energy most likely from my hypothyroidism and intermittent depression seems to keep me put in place physically. Though to be fair, the discomfort of all day grogginess is easier than the discomfort of moving around all day.
I can't say why but I have a feeling if I was physical more often a lot of things would heal for me including my anxiety... Since a big part of it is fear of being attacked and being unable to defend myself.
Totally irrational considering my day to day surroundings. Yet it is there.
A good point in realizing that all is well is that you need to deeply and profoundly come to experience that 'realization' (sort of like 'materialization') inside of yourself for it to begin appearing so externally.
I can't just chant it and find it true, you know? ...Or maybe some people can do that, but I can't lol.
I'm a contemplater more so than a meditater too, so for me the majority of my realization comes from deep thought. However, I do believe it is meditation that puts those realizations into manifesting.
Yin yang, not gonna lie but you sound like a very fun person to just walk and talk with about everything from a positive perspective.
I...Don't know...Why I'm so fixated on exploring darkness. I guess I don't see it the same way everyone else does. I don't shy away from 666 synchronicities or find Satan 'evil' in the traditional sense or the Demiurge bad. I do shy away from interacting with darkness, preferring to be an observer, but overall I find it... Just so fascinating.
Like, Satan is a lesson from God, and in many ways Satan is the darkness of God, God created that darkness and so everyone being influenced by such is being played by God still. The Singularity doesn't discriminate from dark or light, it's all the same in different forms of manifestation.
Or the Demiurge, it is not some prison key holder, it is our separation identity personified. A snake with the head of a lion, that symbology of wisdom and power coming from a being that believes itself separate is more a tale of how inside of us all is this separation that when properly interacted with can bring great power and wisdom to the person, especially when imbued with love.
So, I do get bothered by such things but I feel underneath it all that darkness holds a key to my understanding the nature of reality. It's as integral here as is the light.
You can't have one without the other.
It's because of that I see things like demons as not all evil. As well as seeing angels as not all good.
It makes me wonder if I'm supposed to just be with the fear and find a way to incorporate it's presence positively rather than just be with it and let it be?
I just had a synchronicity of 9:44 on the clock the moment I sat down from finishing mopping the floors.
I find life for me is most likely (since I do not know for sure) one giant synchronicity. There is no random that hasn't been planned for. My entire existence as who I am now seems to be one giant plan.
My ego feels powerless to work with it, my spirit abounds with joy at the prospect of working with it.
I find my fear is being worked on currently. My anxiety is the theme to heal currently. I had this lesson once in 2013 and moved through it with relative ease thanks to cannabis exacerbating my anxiety so that my rational mind could see how irrational the fears were.
Now that I'm not smoking daily with all of my free time, my sober mind is more caught up with the emotion than my disassociated high mind would let me. It was training wheels and now here's the real thing.
I'm so tired too, such low energy most likely from my hypothyroidism and intermittent depression seems to keep me put in place physically. Though to be fair, the discomfort of all day grogginess is easier than the discomfort of moving around all day.
I can't say why but I have a feeling if I was physical more often a lot of things would heal for me including my anxiety... Since a big part of it is fear of being attacked and being unable to defend myself.
Totally irrational considering my day to day surroundings. Yet it is there.
A good point in realizing that all is well is that you need to deeply and profoundly come to experience that 'realization' (sort of like 'materialization') inside of yourself for it to begin appearing so externally.
I can't just chant it and find it true, you know? ...Or maybe some people can do that, but I can't lol.
I'm a contemplater more so than a meditater too, so for me the majority of my realization comes from deep thought. However, I do believe it is meditation that puts those realizations into manifesting.
Yin yang, not gonna lie but you sound like a very fun person to just walk and talk with about everything from a positive perspective.
I...Don't know...Why I'm so fixated on exploring darkness. I guess I don't see it the same way everyone else does. I don't shy away from 666 synchronicities or find Satan 'evil' in the traditional sense or the Demiurge bad. I do shy away from interacting with darkness, preferring to be an observer, but overall I find it... Just so fascinating.
Like, Satan is a lesson from God, and in many ways Satan is the darkness of God, God created that darkness and so everyone being influenced by such is being played by God still. The Singularity doesn't discriminate from dark or light, it's all the same in different forms of manifestation.
Or the Demiurge, it is not some prison key holder, it is our separation identity personified. A snake with the head of a lion, that symbology of wisdom and power coming from a being that believes itself separate is more a tale of how inside of us all is this separation that when properly interacted with can bring great power and wisdom to the person, especially when imbued with love.
So, I do get bothered by such things but I feel underneath it all that darkness holds a key to my understanding the nature of reality. It's as integral here as is the light.
You can't have one without the other.
It's because of that I see things like demons as not all evil. As well as seeing angels as not all good.
It makes me wonder if I'm supposed to just be with the fear and find a way to incorporate it's presence positively rather than just be with it and let it be?