11-04-2017, 04:33 PM
I've been thinking of this topic a lot lately, reflecting on my life and my troubles with relationships.
I have never really been able to fall in love in the sense that other people in my surroundings have. Have felt the sexual attraction and at the same time liked many of the girls I met but never been interested in having a serious relationship with them often "panicing" when getting too close. This has always led to an imbalance and often led to the other person getting hurt because I could never commit. When I got a little older I began to think that "Is it really worth it?" being sexually active at all? And since then I've perhaps become more isolated, at least for longer periods of time.
On the other hand I've become a much more loving person and interested in really getting to know girls better as friends, having more female friends these days. I feel that I'm more interested in the person. I can feel love much more clearly but it is more a kind of universal love most of the time and I have a hard time to relate to the kind of romantic love that I see among friends. Another thing is that it is harder to meet girls these days as most of my close friends are in relationships and many of them also have children. I have a hard time finding someone that I can really connect to and maybe that is the real problem. I think this is because I feel that I am very different than most people I meet and sometimes I can relate to being a wanderer.
When it comes to sexuality, I've perhaps been a little distorted to the feeling of being dominant, or feeling powerful because of the attraction or pleasuring someone, never had the kind of sexual relations that is mentioned in the Law of One, though I have been at the same time very "giving". I have felt like love and sexuality have been two separate things. When reflecting on this and the writings in the Ra-material I have begun to question if this kind of sexuality is depolarizing and that has made me insecure about what sexuality really is and what it can be for me. My libido at the same time is very low right now but I think it is partly related to a lot of stress and other things going on in my life.
I read some about Don Elkins, about him and other wanderers not being interested in the kind of physical sexuality that we have in 3rd density.
So do any of you have similar experiences? Can a wanderer be in a deep relationship with someone who is not a wanderer? And how have sexuality changed for you along your spiritual journeys?
(Sorry if this post is hard to follow
)
I have never really been able to fall in love in the sense that other people in my surroundings have. Have felt the sexual attraction and at the same time liked many of the girls I met but never been interested in having a serious relationship with them often "panicing" when getting too close. This has always led to an imbalance and often led to the other person getting hurt because I could never commit. When I got a little older I began to think that "Is it really worth it?" being sexually active at all? And since then I've perhaps become more isolated, at least for longer periods of time.
On the other hand I've become a much more loving person and interested in really getting to know girls better as friends, having more female friends these days. I feel that I'm more interested in the person. I can feel love much more clearly but it is more a kind of universal love most of the time and I have a hard time to relate to the kind of romantic love that I see among friends. Another thing is that it is harder to meet girls these days as most of my close friends are in relationships and many of them also have children. I have a hard time finding someone that I can really connect to and maybe that is the real problem. I think this is because I feel that I am very different than most people I meet and sometimes I can relate to being a wanderer.
When it comes to sexuality, I've perhaps been a little distorted to the feeling of being dominant, or feeling powerful because of the attraction or pleasuring someone, never had the kind of sexual relations that is mentioned in the Law of One, though I have been at the same time very "giving". I have felt like love and sexuality have been two separate things. When reflecting on this and the writings in the Ra-material I have begun to question if this kind of sexuality is depolarizing and that has made me insecure about what sexuality really is and what it can be for me. My libido at the same time is very low right now but I think it is partly related to a lot of stress and other things going on in my life.
I read some about Don Elkins, about him and other wanderers not being interested in the kind of physical sexuality that we have in 3rd density.
So do any of you have similar experiences? Can a wanderer be in a deep relationship with someone who is not a wanderer? And how have sexuality changed for you along your spiritual journeys?
(Sorry if this post is hard to follow
)
![[+]](https://www.bring4th.org/forums/images/collapse_collapsed.png)