"Sacrificing beasts", haha Quan! nice Freudian slip.
You know what I think you were able to laugh at the post, because you subconsciously felt that there was no reason to feel sorry me. I mean, if I had written something like omg I will lose my beasts (oops breasts
) and so I will go down to the river right now and drown myself bc life sucks anyways, I suppose you would not have laughed (or would you ), and instead given me words of help or something.
Xise I have skimmed it before I started posting this thread, but as I said my focus is not primarily on healing right now but more on benefitting from this. I guess it might sound strange but I have absolutely no reason to get rid of the cancer as soon as possible because life is so intense right now, my spirituality has been boosted immensely, I have been able to do stuff I had not been able before ( like switch to healthy eating, it just happens by itself), I am on sick leave (and will be for some time) so that is awesome also bcause it gives me all the time in the world to practice, etc.
There is a strong sense of fate in all this and that this was meant and necessary to happen.
You know I am one of those lazy people, and if there is nothing happening in my life and I think this will go on forever I don't practice my sadhana because , well, "tomorrow" is another day.
But right now I don't know how many tomorrows there will be and it helps me tremendously to be in the moment and live every day like "carpe diem", you know. I am immensely grateful for everything and also for this illness.
I know if I were healed tomorrow there is a possibility I would go back to sitting on the couch, eating chocolates and watching silly soap operas.
I feel that cancer is probably one of the least predictable illnesses and also varies a great deal from individual to individual, like what will help one person will not help another etc.
That is probably also what makes it so interesting. There are people who have done everything "right", have lived very healthy lives and yet get some of the most dastardly cancers. Some of the great sages had cancer, like Ramana Maharshi and Nisagadatta Maharaj.
Other people spend their days chainsmoking and drinking wine and die one day peacefully in their beds.
Some get healed through chemotherapy, others don't. Some are given up by doctors and go home to die and yet recover.
Some get healed at first and then cancer returns a lot stronger and they die.
All the statistics in my mind signify absolutely nothing. As I think it is destiny if it happens, it is part of what was planned.
As Ramana said "if something is supposed to happen, no matter what you do and try to prevent it, you won't be able to, it will happen anyway"
And in that sense, if I or anyone else is supposed to be healed of cancer, it will happen, regardless of the treatment they follow.
My 3year old nephew told me today that he loves me, and that if any time soon I won't have breasts anymore, he will get them because he is me after all.
Isn't that the cutest thing ever?
You know what I think you were able to laugh at the post, because you subconsciously felt that there was no reason to feel sorry me. I mean, if I had written something like omg I will lose my beasts (oops breasts
) and so I will go down to the river right now and drown myself bc life sucks anyways, I suppose you would not have laughed (or would you ), and instead given me words of help or something.Xise I have skimmed it before I started posting this thread, but as I said my focus is not primarily on healing right now but more on benefitting from this. I guess it might sound strange but I have absolutely no reason to get rid of the cancer as soon as possible because life is so intense right now, my spirituality has been boosted immensely, I have been able to do stuff I had not been able before ( like switch to healthy eating, it just happens by itself), I am on sick leave (and will be for some time) so that is awesome also bcause it gives me all the time in the world to practice, etc.
There is a strong sense of fate in all this and that this was meant and necessary to happen.
You know I am one of those lazy people, and if there is nothing happening in my life and I think this will go on forever I don't practice my sadhana because , well, "tomorrow" is another day.
But right now I don't know how many tomorrows there will be and it helps me tremendously to be in the moment and live every day like "carpe diem", you know. I am immensely grateful for everything and also for this illness.
I know if I were healed tomorrow there is a possibility I would go back to sitting on the couch, eating chocolates and watching silly soap operas.
I feel that cancer is probably one of the least predictable illnesses and also varies a great deal from individual to individual, like what will help one person will not help another etc.
That is probably also what makes it so interesting. There are people who have done everything "right", have lived very healthy lives and yet get some of the most dastardly cancers. Some of the great sages had cancer, like Ramana Maharshi and Nisagadatta Maharaj.
Other people spend their days chainsmoking and drinking wine and die one day peacefully in their beds.
Some get healed through chemotherapy, others don't. Some are given up by doctors and go home to die and yet recover.
Some get healed at first and then cancer returns a lot stronger and they die.
All the statistics in my mind signify absolutely nothing. As I think it is destiny if it happens, it is part of what was planned.
As Ramana said "if something is supposed to happen, no matter what you do and try to prevent it, you won't be able to, it will happen anyway"
And in that sense, if I or anyone else is supposed to be healed of cancer, it will happen, regardless of the treatment they follow.
My 3year old nephew told me today that he loves me, and that if any time soon I won't have breasts anymore, he will get them because he is me after all.
Isn't that the cutest thing ever?
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