Other selves are mirrors

[loostudent]

Interactions with others are like tests and lessons at the same time. How can you know if you are patient/impatient for example? You need something or someone to irritate you and your responsiblity is how you respond. This catalyst is often unused by blaming our responses on others.

Some good analogies:

A grain of sand in the human eye first irritates, and if ignored leads to an infection. Were a person never to deal with the infection in the eye, there could be loss of vision. One could go blind. That same grain of sand in an oyster first irritates, then leads to concretion and morphs into a beautiful pearl. This raises the question: Did the speck of sand cause the results in the human eye and cause the results in the oyster? Or did the grain of sand reveal the inner properties of the eye and the inner properties of the oyster? In both instances the grain of sand is an irritant that reveals the inner properties of each. The sand did not cause the outcome, otherwise we would have to be concerned whether a pearl would pop out of our eye the next time sand got in it.

...

Similar to the sand analogy is one I like to share about a rose and a skunk. When a rose is crushed under one’s foot, it gives off a sweet aroma. But when the same kind of pressure is applied to a skunk, a much different odor can result. As I like to say, when the pressure is on, do you smell like a rose or a skunk?

Still another analogy. How does the sun melt the butter and harden the clay? Why does the sun not harden the butter and melt the clay? Because the sun is not the cause of the results. The sun reveals the inner properties of the butter and clay.

(Emerson Eggerichs: Love and Respect, My Response is My Responsibility)