Seeing myself as a demon

[Spooner]

Is this something that Orion and other negative influences on earth plant in my head?

I feel like I can kill without anger being a necessity.
I can see how this could help in battlefield. Because recently I had this dream in which I led my fellow soldiers out of a very desperate situation.

I despise the fact that I can be like psychopaths. or military people.. with the dominating eyes and everything.

Killing is not inherently morally good or bad. Much of the negativity around it is projected onto it by people who cannot face reality. Obviously it can be quite bad. But it's not necessarily so.