Also when I was suicidal. I used to fantasize all day about killing myself and dying. all I did was reading about suicide and other suicidal people. I also talked about dying in this forum.
It was very easy for me to kill myself. I didn't do it for two reasons : first, I didn't want my body to be found messed up by my family. such a scene would ruin their incarnation and they wouldn't graduate. (that's a messed up thing to do to your family at harvest)
The other reason was that I didn't want to survive the attempt and be physically damaged.
plus my mother used to hide knives and other stuff I could use for that and doctors put me in a mental hospital for a while.
I'm not sure what has made me so ruthless. I was neglected as a child cuz my mom.. I can't give this info but you can guess.
I was also molested by strangers a few times. but I didn't care. I even saw the person who molested me ten years later when I was 19 I guess. I could at least kick his ass. but I didn't. I just thought he was so low.
but my childhood never mattered to me. it was sad but I've been over it.
It was very easy for me to kill myself. I didn't do it for two reasons : first, I didn't want my body to be found messed up by my family. such a scene would ruin their incarnation and they wouldn't graduate. (that's a messed up thing to do to your family at harvest)
The other reason was that I didn't want to survive the attempt and be physically damaged.
plus my mother used to hide knives and other stuff I could use for that and doctors put me in a mental hospital for a while.
I'm not sure what has made me so ruthless. I was neglected as a child cuz my mom.. I can't give this info but you can guess.
I was also molested by strangers a few times. but I didn't care. I even saw the person who molested me ten years later when I was 19 I guess. I could at least kick his ass. but I didn't. I just thought he was so low.
but my childhood never mattered to me. it was sad but I've been over it.