06-01-2017, 01:49 PM
I find myself agreeing with your analysis significantly, Diana, and yet… might we aspire to the goal of making B4 a welcoming and safe place? Even if we know we'll miss the mark? Yes, it's the blind leading the blind as you very correctly pointed out, but isn't that always the score in third density? What if we set a community intention otherwise?
I like SMC's idea not because I think it's practical to "just go do it". Rather, I think of it like this: what if all of us here decided that taking care of wanderers was a primary mission of ours? What would change about how we think about the forum, how we organize it, etc.?
I would encourage those who are interested in this idea to not wait for any formal organization or permission. Make a commitment to yourself to be your best self here and to be helpful. How we behave here matters, not because we're all equipped to help all the time, but because there's so much hurt out there.
There are simple things you can do that can change your interactions here for the better. For instance: always wait to respond to posts, especially ones that are emotionally charged, until you've given yourself a chance to digest it. Anytime you feel the need to "come back" quickly, you can catch yourself (here much more easily than IRL) and give yourself 5 minutes to reflect on how you really want to respond. And you're going to make mistakes and that's fine, but a commitment to reflect on your actions will help you learn what really contributes to your and the group's health and what does not.
The more I think about it, the more I believe that B4 doesn't have to be a typical forum. Yes, people have problems with the dynamics here, yours truly included, but that makes it all the better a place to train up on service-to-others.
I like SMC's idea not because I think it's practical to "just go do it". Rather, I think of it like this: what if all of us here decided that taking care of wanderers was a primary mission of ours? What would change about how we think about the forum, how we organize it, etc.?
I would encourage those who are interested in this idea to not wait for any formal organization or permission. Make a commitment to yourself to be your best self here and to be helpful. How we behave here matters, not because we're all equipped to help all the time, but because there's so much hurt out there.
There are simple things you can do that can change your interactions here for the better. For instance: always wait to respond to posts, especially ones that are emotionally charged, until you've given yourself a chance to digest it. Anytime you feel the need to "come back" quickly, you can catch yourself (here much more easily than IRL) and give yourself 5 minutes to reflect on how you really want to respond. And you're going to make mistakes and that's fine, but a commitment to reflect on your actions will help you learn what really contributes to your and the group's health and what does not.
The more I think about it, the more I believe that B4 doesn't have to be a typical forum. Yes, people have problems with the dynamics here, yours truly included, but that makes it all the better a place to train up on service-to-others.
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