What is understood about people

[Agua del Cielo]

To add on that,
i try to remember all the denial i discovered in myself and how hard it was to realize!
But very often i am not very successful in remembering this :/
Which is close to denying denial actually.

I try to temember that it wasnt the truth that had been offered to me was hard to accept, but rather the consequences it would have for me.

An example would be all the discussion about the intellectual approach to seeking i have so passionately.
I used to be on a highly intellectual path myself and used it as a means of control. I did not realize this for a long time.
My spiritual teachers told me all the time to leave that behind. I refused to acknowledge it.
I kept viewing myself as not controlling and just having a "bias".
At some point i discovered, that that was a lie.
I realized that in fact i was very much in my intellect and i knew it. I also knew that it kept me from deeper experiences!
But i was so deep in it, i just couldnt get out of it, and actually i was desperately trying, but with no success.
I just couldnt admit it, because it made me feel that i wasnt good enough.
So i just denied and defended for a long time :/

It took me many years to discover the overwhelming fear that was hidden behind that.
When i did, i could suddenly understand it all.
It was just that i never could feel that fear, because i used that very mechanism to keep it from arising!