03-23-2017, 09:04 PM
Emotions influence thoughts and vice versa (although usually much less), so be careful of how you talk to yourself. My advice would be to feel these emotions as wholly as you can to get them out, and then try to make peace with the situation that causes them, either by understanding, forgiving, or changing things. Also, remember that emotions come and go, like clouds in the sky. Might be cloudy one day/week/month and sunny the next.
You seem to be putting distance between you and your emotions, which is a very good start. There's a big difference between saying: "I am depressed" and "I feel depressed". So, you got that going for you, a good awareness and understanding of emotions.
While I do not know your mom, it would be a safe bet to say that she's probably worried about you. It might ease the situation to talk to her, depending on how much you're comfortable opening up to her about things and yourself. You don't have to tell her everything either. And you don't have to condone anything she does if you feel it's negative. Just wait until she is in a good mood.
About your self-esteem, remember that your mom is not talking to you: she is talking to the representation of you that she has in her head. That representation might be very far from reality, especially if communication is difficult between you two. And even then... no one will never know you as well as you know yourself. You're the only one with access to all of the data
So, don't confuse yourself with what people think of you.
About psych wards, I've been in one for three weeks myself after losing my second trial (I won the first one and stayed free but when they want to lock you up, they lock you up). So, it's a pretty small sample, but here are my thoughts: Firstly, psych meds are not very healthy. I understand that in some cases, they are needed and become the "lesser of two evils". But in my opinion, if you can avoid them, you would be wise to do so. And I'm not talking about antidepressants here, I'm talking about the harder stuff, mainly antipsychotics (zyprexa, haldol, seroquel, etc...) And if you go in a psych facility, there is a good chance you'll "win" a diagnostic and the corresponding regimen of psych medicine. I'm not a doctor and I don't know you: if you feel that might help you, it's your call. I'm not advocating against those meds; I'm advocating against giving them to someone who does not truly need them.
While it was a fun experience at first because of the novelty, it quickly became boring because there isn't much to do. No internet, a library of outdated kids books, and out of the 30 patients, maybe 22-24 of them were not interested/able to socialize much. Many depressed and anxious people, so it's usually a pretty gloomy atmosphere. The food is horrible. You can scarcely got outside, usually for periods of 30 minutes at a time.
So, all in all, I don't recommend it. But it's your call...
You seem to be putting distance between you and your emotions, which is a very good start. There's a big difference between saying: "I am depressed" and "I feel depressed". So, you got that going for you, a good awareness and understanding of emotions.
While I do not know your mom, it would be a safe bet to say that she's probably worried about you. It might ease the situation to talk to her, depending on how much you're comfortable opening up to her about things and yourself. You don't have to tell her everything either. And you don't have to condone anything she does if you feel it's negative. Just wait until she is in a good mood.
About your self-esteem, remember that your mom is not talking to you: she is talking to the representation of you that she has in her head. That representation might be very far from reality, especially if communication is difficult between you two. And even then... no one will never know you as well as you know yourself. You're the only one with access to all of the data
So, don't confuse yourself with what people think of you. About psych wards, I've been in one for three weeks myself after losing my second trial (I won the first one and stayed free but when they want to lock you up, they lock you up). So, it's a pretty small sample, but here are my thoughts: Firstly, psych meds are not very healthy. I understand that in some cases, they are needed and become the "lesser of two evils". But in my opinion, if you can avoid them, you would be wise to do so. And I'm not talking about antidepressants here, I'm talking about the harder stuff, mainly antipsychotics (zyprexa, haldol, seroquel, etc...) And if you go in a psych facility, there is a good chance you'll "win" a diagnostic and the corresponding regimen of psych medicine. I'm not a doctor and I don't know you: if you feel that might help you, it's your call. I'm not advocating against those meds; I'm advocating against giving them to someone who does not truly need them.
While it was a fun experience at first because of the novelty, it quickly became boring because there isn't much to do. No internet, a library of outdated kids books, and out of the 30 patients, maybe 22-24 of them were not interested/able to socialize much. Many depressed and anxious people, so it's usually a pretty gloomy atmosphere. The food is horrible. You can scarcely got outside, usually for periods of 30 minutes at a time.
So, all in all, I don't recommend it. But it's your call...
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