Fallen wanderer?!?!

[Coordinate_Apotheosis]

This is bad, I was born with massive compassion, wisdom and all kinds of unusual positive traits. Somehow I went into denial early on. And all the bad choices that come with being in that state. After a massive heart awaking, everything fell into place but I realised I had built up negative karma, and a year later I fell hard, its like I lost my positivity. If this assessment is correct, then it means I'm f***ed. Somehow got tangled with STS vibrations. It started when I was a little kid, I remember the negative presence and sense of terror. A soulmate attempted to save me, but I messed it up which has really bad net karmic results, to the point I can barely breathe with self rejection. Before I read any of this Ra material, I had a vision of me slipping below some 50/50 threshold, and the signs said this is bad, it involves something about a long path.

Aww.  I see myself in this post...

You know...everything you do in life can be forgiven.

Forgiveness is the greatest stopper of the wheel of karma.  Not just that but its a necessity in unlocking yellow ray blockages.

You did bad things.  So did Hitler and that guy spent 40+ years in the astral plane healing.  Genocidal monster, only a couple decades of healing.

I'm sure whatever you've done, is wholly and utterly forgiveable.  You just need to find that forgiveness for your self.

I self identify as a monster along side many other names.   The worst thing I've ever done is unintentionally kill a gold fish and accidentally hit a cat with my car. (Almost said hit a car with my cat, lol)

...and failed to be a father to my son...

I lost the love of my life, and pretty much destroyed my own life.

I think if there's room for forgiveness for someone like me or, say, Hitler, then there's room for you too.

Room for everyone.

Why do you suffer so?  Why do you feel so miserable for these experiences?
(I ask myself that question now and then...)