02-22-2017, 04:01 PM
(01-12-2017, 04:13 PM)Ashim Wrote: This experience was akin to entering an 'eternal return' type of time loop. I think I was in negative time/space. Certainly the most frightening experience of my life. It felt like millions of years but was probably only a minute or so.
I call it "the black hole experience".
wtf...I recognize this... I think I've had this exact same experience, only I somehow managed to be spared the feeling of taking millions of years.
I was laying in the bed in the guest bedroom, meditating, when I get jolted out of the meditation and it felt like...I don't how to describe it, it felt like I had just fallen into a pit or a 'black' 'hole' and was just now coming back into my body from it, like the sensation of having been pulled someplace then put back in my body.
Then, immediately after I have this 'realization' that the hell I've experience myself being in is exactly like the heaven I had experienced back in 2014, that it was all an illusion, that the octaves and their being is as 3D, an illusion for a purpose.
...I wonder how much of what is said in this thread has happened to me... Kind of fun yet scary to think about.
IN FACT, I remember the experience of coming back from that black hole place was so sour, so bitter, so horrible, that I had to channel it into my book, and from it was birthed the domain of the Man with the Red Face, a timeless, spaceless environment capable of very vivid illusions where the Man with the Red Face would pull the protagonist into when she'd lose consciousness, and would proceed to torture and torment her to 'teach her a lesson'.
Man, some of the things we experience as human beings, you'd never think it were possible heh.
Mahakali Wrote:To dedicate myself in total service to others? I don't feel comfortable with that. I want to fix myself first, and then I'll see about helping others. I'm not against it, but I am distrustful and paranoid, and I'll feel better about all that once I feel safe and empowered enough to take care of myself...
I felt this exact same way once...once...Hah, I still feel this way honestly. I still feel like I am more harmful to others than helpful. It takes a constant reminder that others are no different for me to not feel crippled by my paranoia and anxiety. And even then, when something goes wrong while I'm out in society, all I can do is retreat to my home when it gets too overwhelming to deal with.
It's kind of annoying, I just want to go out and do my errands and enjoy myself and help others enjoy themselves, and then people screw me over and I'm expected to just be loving and not have a problem with it when it keeps on happening... Even after I've met the experience with love and patience and forgiveness, things go wrong again, and again, and agaaain, so I'm left baffled.
Is the lesson to make these occurrences stop happening the opposite? Do I need to lose my s*** and scream and yell with a red face at people for them to stop screwing me over? That's not who I want to be! I shouldn't have to be that to make people NOT screw me over!