When does choosing love at every instant become easy and obvious?

[Agua del Cielo]

Not sure if my thoughts are helpful for you or not, i'll share them anyway

I would liketo turn things around for a moment.
Please apologize, if i'm wrong, there is no offense intended!

To me it seems you do not know yourself very well, the depths of you i mean.
Your question seems to arise from that point.
You have an urge to serve.

If you investigate this, asking yourself "why do i want to serve?" Various answers might arise.
Many of these answers, if given honestly, might indicate a "hidden agenda", meaning, reason that would actually indicate you want to serve yourself.
For example " i must polarize positively in order to be harvestable"
You might want to "still" these urges first, before serving others.

"Am i in a position to give love, or am i in need?"
When you re "in need" it might be more loving to love yourself first, whatever that would mean in a situation. You might be honest about it, speaking about it openly.
That would be chosing love in my opinion.
Other selves could then give you what you need.
There would be much more love present, as opposed to you ignoring your inner needs, trying to "give love" when you just cant.
When you openly speak about what is inside of you, even ifits something like anger, youre offering the truth ofthe moment and thats where the love is.
You dont know what will happen, but most likely a process will start that can heal portions of yourself as well as others.

Is "love" only walking around with an overflowing heart and a holy smile in theface?
I think more often its honesty.
With honesty there comes openness and vulnerability. Are you ready to be vulnerable?

Creating space, where you and everyone else can justbethe way you orthey are atthe very moment, thatwould beloving for me.
Being willing to understand, your struggle and others' struggle, that would be love for me.

How could one possibly love another person if one doesnt love oneself?

What would be the "energy" you offer, when you act "lovingly" but suppress whats inside you?
Your energy offered would be "things have to be suppressed".

I think it starts with oneself. With knowing oneself. With being honest to oneself.
Love doesnt always look like love, sometimes its acceptance, sometimes its understanding, sometimes its just holding someone in ones arms, sometimes its honestly speaking out ones truth even if itsvery unpleasant.

Considering point 4) of your post, i could offer a lot regarding this, but i just realize i already did (as well as many others) in your other thread.
Probably it wasntreally usefulfor you, so i'll justphrase it very short:
The lowervibration desire wouldbe, in my opinion and frequent experience, a counterreaction of your system to your intensified practice and the higherstates you experienced.
These would be the portions of yourself you dont know yet.
I will gladly expand onthat, if your interested