Loving someone more than you love yourself

[Glow]

Nowheretoday - I noticed you haven't posted. I'm a bit worried.
I still have a burning sensation in my chest. I googled it and it's heart break, I hope you aren't still feeling like throwing up. I guess the heart takes longer to under stand than the mind. Thinking of you.

Hope you are ok.

Thank you very much for your love.
I read a few replies yesterday, it takes an effort to really understand what's being said, there's a lot of thought to it, just now I read all of it and I feel like I need to re-read to really process, I don't think is fair to give lazy replies to these well written posts, anyway...

I'm okay, I haven't been eating well, I haven't gone to the gym, I slept twelve hours yesterday trying not to face the feelings, I work nights, mornings are when the feelings and thoughts are fresh and hit harder, as the day goes by they fade and realize that I'm at peace and free to move on. I did cry today though, nostalgia.

One of the replies, in my opinion, it was dark, there's no acceptance, understanding, love/light.

Here:

We suggest the nature of all manifestation to be illusory and functional only insofar as the entity turns from shape and shadow to the One.

That's all there is to it. That's my faith to face the challenge, that's how I love, embrace, and ask for more pain. I love the feeling of growth I get from feeling immense pain, from processing, distilling the experience. This is how I move on and forgive, by accepting, by loving everything that life brings, there's a quote I can't find that says the Creator is every emotion, every feeling, every thought, the Infinite One is all that there is, how can you reject something that's you.

People that need the most growth offer the most catalyst, we need them to grow. Still trying to find the answer to my question.

It's been hard hasn't it. Show yourself love by making sure you eat. I'm glad you are sleeping, it's better than being so tormented that you get none I think.

You know I think personally every choice is part of your path. I'm different though and I do think there are no mistakes. It's not LOO esk but to many things align perfectly to effect one single event. So for now you are still enjoying what this emotion brings you growth wise. To me it seems that might be part of the plan in the much larger scheme so other things can occur. Everything happens at the right time.

I actually went to the Dr yesterday because that chest burning wouldn't go away after 4 days I thought something might be wrong. While I was there I was talking to my Dr and he asked me why I would continue trying to be there for him after all this.

2 things
1. how other people behave in my perspective should not dictate who I am, and how I behave. I will love and learn not to let people hurt me with their weaknesses. So it's a growth opportunity for me. I will be me and their beingness is theirs, I will be me. What is true to how I am.

Would Ra say that I'm being a bad mirror? I don't think so, I'm not mirroring their behaviour but I might be mirroring a behaviour they wish they could also display. My counterpart actually commented something about this today. The contrast really hurt him in how he acted and how I never once wavered, I was strong and didn't react in kind, didn't walk away hurt, showed love when he was brutal to me. Truely brutal. I showed him who I was/am and he finally saw not a mirror of who he is but a mirror of who he wants to find inside himself. Contrast vs sameness.

2. I know I never would have faced this parental wound if this man had not perpetuated such manipulation and cruelty towards me(I didn't tell you everything)
Funny how now he has hit rock bottom, is overwhelmed by how badly he's behaved and how I keep loving him but am being strong and setting him straight gently lovingly but firmly. He may screw up again. But this is the first time in the decade I've known him he's ever broken like this, admitted his faults showed remorse.

It's something, looks like a very well thought out plan that took a LONG time but went perfectly. Maybe he's a changed man, maybe not but I am,(woman) and I will be ready for whatcever he does next. Still me.

Long storey short maybe you are still wanting to learn from the pain because you have someone else to love through it. Maybe another or the same one needs one more lesson repeat or you do. Either way "it's transient", no mistakes.

As to the quote you found to be without love. So many ways to read that. I'd need context. I see love in it. Everything, all this transient earth beingness even infinity itself, it's only purpose is to show the creator it self. I think it's kind of great, no judgement, no right, no wrong find god through anything and that means that"thing" served its purpose/was perfect in it form/function.

My context may be off but that's what I read.
Be strong, remember you are divine. ((Hug))