Trouble with my romantic relationships

[Ali Quadir]

[Females and their power? Come now, that's just sexist! There is no inherent power in our gender. You're not powerful just because you're a man or a woman.

interesting... why do you think I am being sexist when I talk about female power? Right, there is no interent power in gender. However I do not see how women should not be powerful as well as men.

Neither do I.. But not because they're women. Just like a man is not powerful just because he is a man. An individual in a situation has power or not. And this comes from a deeper level of identity and from context. Feminity or masculinity is a color to the power but not it's source.

The true source of the specific power that the man fears in a woman that you mentioned, is in my opinion his own lack of respect for his own gender and his perception of her power over him. This is contextual power. And it's very real.

A friend of mine, female, told me this story of how when she goes out with 2 of her best friends they always try to see how far they can get guys to go. Bend over, show that ass, pose boy, now buy me a drink. And they literally have dancing monkeys at their table. Guys coming over standing in line to hand over their testicles. We could call it girl power, or we could call it castrated men syndrome. When I asked her what guy she'd get serious with she told me: the one who gives me the middle finger when I do this.

So my conclusion is men need a sexual revolution of their own.

And I have seen that men do feel threatened by it, believe me I have also seen men having difficulty accepting a woman as their boss. It seems it is still a delicate subject to some men.

I agree. Some men! It's also unfortunately still delicate for a man to earn less than his wife. Or even to not be the designated driver in the family car.

Women have emancipated, they found the ability to be all things that used to be male positions. Without becoming replacement men. I think this is good. But this leaves unemancipated men in a position where they lose their identity. This is not good. It would be good if they could be all things too, including things that used to be traditionally female. Without becoming replacement women. I want to see macho guy nurses. And american football type seamsters as much as I want to see female police officers and astronauts.

Can you not almost see the banner I am waving about ?

I believe in equality, but I also believe in masculinity. <- and in feminity too I hope

Well, I'm not a woman. I don't pretend to know what it's like to be female. And I don't think it would be right for me to dictate this. Imagine me telling you what being a woman is all about. But I do believe every woman should find out for themselves.

I do have a strong sense of male pride. <-- well I could reciprocate and call you sexist now - there is no inherent pride in gender.

Touche Experience the joy of being mildly oppositional.

Let me rephrase that. I'm comfortable as a man. I think guys can and should all be comfortable as men. And I believe the same for women though you have to figure out for yourselves what that means..

I use the term male pride as I use the term gay pride. There's no sense being proud of being a homosexual. Unless it's something you fought to become. And as far as I know, it's genetic. It's more an absence of shame.

Actually I think genders are changing too, not only gender roles... I see more and more men who have boobs and wide hips and high voices and women with bodies like men and deep voices. It has been going on for some time now. I sometimes have trouble distinguishing men from women in the street.. and no, I do not have poor eyesight!
Here in Bavaria it may be not only the beer that contributes to mens boobs but I fear it could also be something else...
some scientist warn of the dangers of plastic bottles and the estrogen effects that plastic can have. Many of our foods are wrapped in plastic and thusly contaminated.

Wow, scary.. It's not happening here. I only occasionally have trouble seeing the difference. With young men, or old women dressed and cut as men.