Loving someone more than you love yourself

[Glow]

Glow:
Synchronicity, the feeling of throwing up... I can relate.
It all ended two days ago for me, the other person decided to walk away, I would've continued in that hole, I spent days in my dark room in pain, I meditated, contemplated, fasted, each time of heartbreak a new me was born, it was a challenge but my faith in love is stronger than darkness and/or illusion, I wasn't hurting anybody but myself.

It's very strange syncronicity because it's only 6 hours shy of 2 days ago for me. I just checked. I'd not think many have faced this, let alone on this board.

We haven't spoken other than via email since. I've thanked him for his honesty, told him how much I love him, that I forgive him, and just want him happy, safe and loved. I do forgive him. I won't commit to a path forward till have have time to get past the pain. See things clear. I'm hurt but only a tiny bit angry, more disappointed in myself for being so dumb it's a lesson for my benefit if I can figure it out. Other than don't be dumb. I got that part.

I'm so desperate to find a solution I considered offering a new start like "I clearly don't know you because you've been lying to both of us for years.

Why don't we start over you can get to know me again and I... well we can get to know you." I love him. I'm screwed lol (you know that was a fake laugh)

I worry the lesson is some people can only truely love themselves but that doesn't say what we are to do once we already love them unconditionally.

All my guidance keeps rooting me on. All such accurate stuff. I told off my higherself for protecting him over me then realized I was doing it too. I'm confused now. I can accept the truth and change and pain and healing but how to love us both. Protect us both. I think this test is unfair.

Thanks for posting when you did. There is a chance I will sleep tonight.
You have no idea how much you helped. I've shared a lot of my past and wounds here but this hurt to much. I never would have.

I hope you have some peace, feel loved and can sleep tonight.